You Own Me
by DarkYarns
Summary: Eames sees a side of Robert Goren she never expected. Only for those who understand sometimes our fantasies can be darker than we ever imagined. Not perfect, still a work in progress. Not for everyone. BA ship.
1. You Own Me

Goren examined Eames. He watched her more closely today than usual. She had done something different or perhaps she just appeared differently to him. Maybe it was her hair. Maybe she wearing makeup? He suggested different possiblilties to himself, but the fact remained, today, Eames was _alluring._Goren looked harder now and Eames remained unaware. She was focused intently on the files covering her desk.

They had recently started a case that involved the murder of a young man who worked in the meat markets and his new wife was taking his death particularly hard. Eames had taken a special liking to the young woman and all but gave her word her and her partner would solve the case. Goren enjoyed seeing her so immersed. It gave him the opportunity to watch her- very similar to a researcher viewing wild animals in their natural habitats. Eames was truly a cop to her core, it was in her blood, passed down through her father, and when she became intrigued or impassioned by a case-she was in her element. And Goren couldn't look away.

Goren let his eyes slowly march across her wrists, he focused there, dwelling for a long time on their shape and structure. Her wrists were small but solid. Her arms were virtually hairless and slightly more tan on the top side than where the delicate skin that ran up the back of her arms and wrists stretched. She wore a simple black sleeveless top and her hair hang loosely around her face, her head remained down as she devoured the files looking for any connections or inconsistencies in witnesses statements and reports from the scene.

Goren let his eyes travel along the neckline of her shirt, it was lower today than normal, but nothing inappropriate for the office he decided. Eames shifted in her seat and that caused Goren to quickly look away and back. When his eyes landed on her again he saw her breast move slightly under her shirt. He exhaled silently and decided to look away, this time for good. Eames snapped her head up.Goren reluctantly placed his eyes on her once more, but this time focused on her face. He waited. She spoke.

"I need to get some dinner..."she shook her head, "we don't have any solid leads..."

Goren sensed her disappointment.

"We can go back and talk to some of the guys down at the slaughter house. Somebody there had to know him, according to his wife, he spent most of his time there." he offered.

Eames nodded her head weakly. She sat back in her seat heavily and looked down at her desk. She appeared to be lost in thought. Goren slid his eyes onto her collarbones, he tried to gauge the size of the small dip there, his eyes wandered to her throat, he viewed the lines lighty sprawled horizontally across her skin. Lines barely perceptible to the naked eye, he calculated an estimated distance between each one. She exhaled heavily causing her chest to heave, and he held his breath as her breasts lightly bounced under her shirt from the action. Is she wearing a bra?? He finally realized the answer to his earlier question and indentified what was so different about today. _Eames isnt wearing a bra._ Goren smirked to himself, causing a light twitch in his lips. Eames spotted it immediately.

"What are you so amused about?" she asked flatly.

Goren was caught of gaurd for the quickest moment. Did she really know him so well she could tell even when he was smiling to himself. He was almost positive his face hadn't given him away. Without thinking he said,

"Nothing." and tried to look as innocent, calm and unreadable as possible. He knew Eames was a detective as well, little got past her, but she kept her information much closer to the vest than he did.

He shifted oddly in his seat and she looked back into her files, he relaxed when he realized she was digging back into her work. Goren's neck slowly began to lean as he attempted to continue his ocular feast, without her knowing. Eames reached for the edge of the desk and grabbed her purse. The sound of the zipper opening caused Goren to view her again, her head was down as she dug into her purse. _What is she looking for?_ He mused. She answered his question, pulling out a small metal container. _Chapstick._ He knew before he saw the label as she opened it. Eames lightly swirled her finger in the small basin of chapstick and lifted a single finger to her lips, massaging them lightly.

Goren swallowed hard, his eyes locked on her fingertips and mouth. She opened her mouth a bit wider to apply another swirl of chapstick to her corners and he saw her small, soft, tongue resting gently behind her lips. He felt his eyes glue to the sight of her. She closed her mouth softly and continued reading. He knew she could feel his eyes on her. Goren made his move. He kept looking. It was simple but it was brave. He looked at her intensely in a way she had never seen him look at her before. He let his eyes speak. Then, he felt the urge to withdraw, _if she knows im looking at her, why is she keeping her head down?_

Eames decided to place her hand on her forehead and lean her elbow on her desk. This position afforded Goren a deeper view down her shirt. His eyes instinctively traveled in between the small bit of cleavage that was showing. He felt his groin tighten and suddenly he was aware of the sound of his hearbeat drowning out his thoughts. Eames continued to read, she thought to herself. If _I look up, he'll stop looking_. Eames had countered his move. If he wanted to look, she would show him she would let him. Goren's mind attempted to reach an explanation. _She knows im looking...shes not reacting_.

Eames bettered her posture and now Goren could see her chest and small curve of her waist from his view across the desk. She huffed back down into her seat causing her breasts to jiggle again, much harder than before. And one of Goren' silent exhalations escaped. He made a low barely audible gasp. He knew Eames heard it. _Shit._ He was suddenly filled with embarrassment, and he felt his face flush as evidence. He felt flares of hatred rise in him as a result, he hated being embarrassed. It reminded him of the shame he felt when his mother would have episodes in public. The feeling reminded him of being young and helpless. His chest tightened and he jerked his head to the side, proving some of his head ticks were indeed involuntary. He was angry, he realized. He looked at Eames again but this time his eyes burned with anger. Her eyes finally met his. She felt something unexpected...fear. _Oh my God._He looked like her wanted to hurt her.Goren saw the fear run across her face as quickly as she had tried to hide it. The idea of her being afraid of him enraged him. He got up quickly, hiding his wilting erection with his notebooks. He left without speaking to her. Eames sat confused... _great_...she thought _everytime I think I understand him_...

Goren paced the men's bathroom, rubbing the back of his neck._ I hate her. I hate her. Why is she doing this? _Goren looked in the mirror finally putting his eyes on himself. He was ashamed. He didn't want to think such hurtful things about Eames, she had been the only partner - the only person- who ever truly stuck by his side. His heart sank in his chest and he felt disgusted with himselfand stupid for allowing his emotions to get the better of him._ Something is wrong with me._

Goren realized over the years he had become more and more withdrawn, focusing intently on working with Eames. He rarely saw friends and outside of work his available free time was devoted to reading, something he had become even more engrossed in as of late. He hadn't been on a date in over a year and admitted to himself he had no sexual contact for over four years. When he was sexually active sex wasnt fulfilling. Women could rarely comfortably accomdate his size and didn't dare venture into fulfilling his deepest needs. Goren looked harder in the mirror before deciding he was just going to sneak out of work, he didn't want to face Eames and he knew the look in his eyes terrified her. S_he looked so...afraid._ Goren exited the men's room keeping his eyes on his shoes, he nearly ran into Eames.

"Bobby!" The word stopped him in his tracks, she rarely called him Bobby. He didnt want to meet her eyes. He shifted his weight and looked at the ground saying nothing. Eames decided not to speak either. They faced towards eachother. She inched slowly closer to him and he leaned away gently, still refusing to meet her eyes. She reached and traced her fingertips lightly across his wrist. The sensation was intimate, and Goren felt like there was no one else in the the whole room. He shook the feeling away violently.

"No." he said firmly, snatching his arm out of her reach. He walked towards the elevators and pushed down. Eames stood in front of the men's room searching her mind for what to do. She had to act quickly the elevator arrived and Goren still had his back turned on her. She sprinted and hopped on the elevator with him right as the doors were closing.

"Bobby." she pulled at his jaw and brought his eyes onto her. Her eyes were pleading. She couldn't find the words. _It's ok_ she wanted to just tell him it was _ok_.

He seized her, snatching at the wrists he had just examined. Her spun her around quickly and slammed her into the wall of the elevator. His mind shut off. This is what he had feared. He slammed her body against the wall again, hard enough to knock the wind out of her. He paused and Eames felt like time had stood still. Her head was ringing and she felt as if she had been stuffed inside her own body. Goren breathed in her ear, holding her wrists so tightly they stung. He leaned into her ear, and she was on pins anticipating him to speak..._or kiss her_, instead he grabbed her throat roughly and pressed her head against the wall so firmly Eames though that her forehead was going to implode. She couldn't think. She couldn't even absorb what was going on. _Was the elevator still moving? _everything was happening so fast. Then she felt Goren reach around her waist and yank her into his body. He felt stronger than she had ever realized. He gripped her throat so hard his knuckles were turning white. He pulled her ass against his hips harshly still pinning her throat and head to the wall. Goren held her there for a long time, pulling her closer and closer into his hips, she felt like his hands were going to crush her. He breathed roughly into the back of her head. _He couldn't bear to look at her._ She felt his erection, he was massive and pounding. Eames took the brief second of calm to take in his ragged breathing. _He is enjoying this_ she realized. He ground his erection into her again, thrusting so hard she thought it had to have hurt him, but Goren was unfazed. Then he let out a small cry and released her.

The elevator doors opened.He was taking long strides halfway down the lobby and out of the building before Eames could even turn around. She saw his back as he went out the door.

Eames beat him to his house. _He doesn't have anywhere else to go_. She wasnt going to let Goren run away this time. He had a lot of explaining to do, bruises were forming on her wrists and she knew how rough he had been with her was not a figment of her imagination. She had never been close enough to Goren to feel his manhood before, and earlier this evening on the office elevators he had nearly ripped through the fabric of her pants with his hard-on. She didnt even know where to begin but she knew she had to talk to him. Goren inserted the key in his apartment door and Eames slipped from around the corner. She didnt speak she just stood next to him. After a long silence Goren spoke staring straight ahead at the door.

"Eames, you don't want what you think you want." he decided after a long pause to add, "I showed you that today."

"How do you know?" she asked truthfully.

"Because I know. Okay?" he spat back without missing a beat, the anger from earlier was welling in him again. He decided he needed to enter his apartment and be away from her. Eames placed herself in between him and his door. His face darkened and he turned towards her for the first time, looking down. He refused to submit to feeling out of control. He refused to play this game with her.

"Why are you here?" he asked.

She decided to show him that it _was_ ok. That maybe they couldnt communicate all their thoughts or feelings with words but she could show him. She grazed her hand slowly on the inside of his thigh. His body stiffened and Goren held his breath. Eames let her hand run further in between his legs and grabbed his groin gently. Goren looked into her eyes and she looked into his and she saw something she never saw before. _Desire_. He spoke trying to even his breathing, and hung his head, defeated, losing eye contact with her. The words dripped from his lips.

"You know im not...normal. I guess. I-I just dont want to..." he stopped. She nipped his chin and directed his eyes back onto hers again.

"You dont want to what?" she asked her voice sweet, and pleading for the truth. He never knew Eames to be so...delicate and feminine. He realized she was presenting another side of herself to him. So he decided, finally, to do the same. He took a breath and answered..

"I dont want you to think that...I dont't ...feel you." Eames looked confused.

He struggled to find the words to help it all make sense to her. He continued more purposelfully, "I feel you all the time. You mo-motivate me. I dont even know where I would be without you, somehow, you...became essential to me being able to be me." he lowerd his voice," I-My-my mind...the way it works...the things i like..."his voice trailed off.

Eames grasped to understand what he was trying to say, he searched her eyes and then finished, "I wouldn't want to subject you to it I dont even think I would want you to see me...like that. I'm just not...myself...I guess...but it is me, well, a part of me, but Im not proud."

Eames mind raced, he had been downright violent with her in the elevator and neither one of them had removed one article of clothing or even kissed. She couldn't imagine the things he would do in privacy of his own home with her consent. She touched the side of his face. She didnt always have the right words for Goren but she always said what she meant.

"Don't hide any part of yourself from me. I trust you with my life, I know what you meant when you said you 'feel me' I feel you too, all the time. I hear your voice in my thoughts all day long, you have rubbed off on me so much..." she didn't know what to add, "you don't have to be normal Bobby...thats not...thats not why i love you."

The words took the wind out of Goren's lungs.They had come so far. A lump formed in his throat and he searched her eyes to see if she truly meant what she just said. Could she accept all of him? Even his darkside? His body responded begging desperately to be lifted from the dormancy of his asexual lifestyle. His manhood began to throb and he roughly grabbed her neck and slammed her head against the front of his door. Eames couldn't believe it was happening again. Except this time, he wasn't holding back. He lifted her up off the ground and pressed her against the front of the door, she wrapped her legs around his waist and he gripped more tightly on her throat, digging his nails into her soft skin. He positioned his pulsing erection between her legs and pressed powerfully. This time heat caused by the pain overtook her and her legs began to shake. Goren snarled and bit softly into her neck rubbing his stubble harshly across her neck and collarbone. He snatched her harder by the throat, yanking her head to the side, he whispered warmly into her ear.

"You love me?" he selfishly wanted to hear her say the words again. He held her to tightly by the throat she was unable to respond, time seemed to be passing so slowly, heat rose in Eames ear, she needed oxygen.

He released her throat so she could speak and she was greatful to be able to breathe. She felt afraid again, Goren choked her much longer than he had in the elevator and she was beginning to get dizzy just before he released her. She looked into his eyes and suddenly she saw into him. He was afraid she would change her mind, that she would hate him for being rough with her, he was afraid she would never understand why he expressed himself this way, he still didnt even understand, and she was the last woman he ever wanted to hurt or humiliate, but the beast deep inside him screamed, _she's pushing me to do it._

He suddenly felt like his father. His father swore women were just begging to be used and fucked and left alone. His father was a man who was never accountable for his actions. He had sex with prosititutes young Bobby and his mother were home, and then claimed his mother drove him to do it through her psychotic episodes. And when he beat him, of course it was never his father's fault. He never wanted to hurt Eames, but deep inside he acknowledged he felt like she was_ asking for it._

Then he saw it in her eyes and the look itself forced him over his edge of control. Eames eyes were filled with _submission._ He realized she was going to give him what he needed. Eames opened her mouth to speak. Goren swipped his hand across her face before the words could even come out harder than either one of them expected.

"You dont speak unless I tell you to." he spoke calmly but he was unable to meet her eyes. Eames was trembling and tears formed in her eyes. Her heart raced, she knew she had to trust Bobby. She said nothing. He was pleased. Her there in silence, at his command, made his skin hot. He opened the apartment door and pushed her inside. Eames almost fell backwards onto the floor. Goren grabbed her face roughly, squeezing so hard he distorted her features, he seemed ashamed unable to meet her gaze. He grabbed her face, jerking her neck around, until she relax her muscles, until he was able to fully contol the direction in which her head turned.

Then he finally looked at her, his gaze cut into her and she suddenly felt like she didnt know him at all. Goren slapped her again. Her face reddened and Goren slapped her again, this time she let out a small cry and her entire body shook. He yanked her head and spit into her face, right underneath her eye. He looked at her with disgust, she was humiliated, her heart beginnning to drop. _I don't know if I should be doing this...if he should be_ her thoughts were interrupted by Goren's low voice.

"Get on your knees." he said it clearly and evenly.

Eames obeyed and fell to her knees, she kept her head down partly to avoid being hit again and partly to hide her shame. She heard him undo his belt and slacks and then felt him roughly grab the side of her face. She was confronted with his enormous manhood. His thickness was intimidating and he stood before her running his hand up and down his own length, she saw his tip glistening with pre-cum. He was easily over nine inches. Goren rushed towards her face forcing her lips apart with his member, before she knew it she felt herself having a gag reflex around him, only instead of releasing her up to breath he pushed deeper into her throat. He let out a rumble and continued to pump into her mouth as she gagged.

He snatched himself from her and Eames began to cough, tears running down her face, he slapped her again this time harder than any other and pushed himself down her throat, grabbing the back of her head roughly, she tried to pull away as she felt the vomit well up, but he pushed her farther down on to him and she released a flush of clearish fluid from her stomach down over his shaft and testitcles. The smell of the vomit made her attempt to pull her head up more and she felt the deepest humiliation of her life. She knew he would be disgusted with her but he should have known with his size not to push her down like that, she felt angry towards him and her face flushed dragon red as her eyes filled with tears. He slapped her again. His words surprised and startled her.

"Good girl." he said it as if he meant it.

He slapped her again this time on her breasts through her clothes, he grabbed her throat and began to pump into her mouth. He still tasted like her own stomach fulids but he also tasted like something good, she felt his thighs go hard as rocks when she began to release from her stomach and out mouth over him again. Her abs contracted so hard her ribs ached. He pushed her head down farther and she choked on him. Goren growled and began to pant, pumping even more furiously into her mouth. He grabbed the back of her head and began rapidly moving her head up and down his length, she felt the saliva running out of her mouth onto him and her clothing, her chin was dripping and covered in thick strings of spit. He snatched himself from her mouth again and exhaled deeply, she was surprised by her own moan.

He pushed his cock up against her face, letting his balls rest on her chin. He slowly ground himself into the side of her face. He began talking to her, his voice more quiet and hoarse than usual.

"You love me?" Eames was smart, she remembered he told her not to speak until he said she could.

He remembered also, "You may speak. Do you still love me?" She responded without hesitation, "yes." It was a quiet, confused yes, but it was a _yes_. Goren felt himself throbbing harder against her face. _Look at her, she's humiliated...she can barely fit me in her mouth.._the small feelings of pleasure at the idea of her being ashamed returned his rage and he stepped away from her, pulling up his pants and viewing her, his physical self begged for realease but he didn't know what to do. He began to pace the floor. _She loves me_ the thought lingered on his mind and he began to pace slowly until her stood in front of her once more.

"Eames." he called to her. She looked up at him and to him she looked like a very young girl,her eyes were soft and distantly afraid but he knew they had to rely on the trust they had built over the last years.

"Tip your head back." He commanded, and once again Eames obeyed. Goren stood over her and pulled himself from his slacks, he began touching himself again, this time with more purpose, he stroked his own skin harshly, spending extra attention on his tip. He lowered himself until he was beating off right over her lips, another command.

"Spit on it" he said it lowly and Eames opened her eyes to see his face was flushed. She hawked and released a huge stream of saliva onto his length. He shuddered and leaned his head back, He slapped her again this time more gently and panted, "Good girl."

Suddenly inside Eames realized she liked pleasing her Bobby, everytime he said 'good girl' heat rushed through her, dissipating over her scalp. Goren stroked her salivia into his skin and let out an inhuman growl, he had lost control, he pounded himself rapidly rubbing his tip on Eames closed lips,he couldnt make words or thoughts, he stroked himself faster and harder, he felt his legs about to give out. He grabbed Eames by the throat once more and lined his manhood up with her nose, he threw his head back, roared from somewhere deep within, and began to ejaculate across her face, beating his member across her cheeks and nose, rubbing his semen into her lips. Eames realized she was flushed and moaning herself. Goren fell back onto the floor, he could barely speak. He looked into her eyes, her face covered with his seed. She made no effort to wipe it away, her eyes now were completely submissive as she realized what he needed.

"Get on all fours.."he took a breath, "with your back towards me, spread your legs and let me watch you."

Eames hesitated, the semen slowly starting to dry on her face, but Goren glared at her and she did as she was told.

Goren added, "take of all of your clothes." Goren watched as Eames undresssed, her body was firm but soft in the right places, she stood before him completely naked and for the first time since this took over him she saw a look of love on his face. His eyes, usually intense, shimmered at her. She smiled at him and he slipped away again, his face replaced with something cold.

"Stop smiling and do as you're told." Eames obeyed immedtiately, and she made herself stretch on all fours in front of Bobby, spreading her legs and butt for him to view her completely. Her soft folds of flesh were glistening and wet and her thighs trembeled. Goren reached up and smacked her behind, he smacked her thighs and ass again and again and again, her skin stung with pain. Goren didn't stop hitting her until her legs gave out.

"Get up bitch!" he snarled reaching up the length of her stomach between her legs and grabbing her breasts hard. It was then she fully realized how much larger he was than her. He pinched her nipples so hard she screamed and she felt Bobby bolt into an erection. He grabbed her hair and yanked her neck so far back she thought it would break, he continued fondling her breasts, prodding and pinching her nipples incredibly hard, causing waves of pain to wash over her, tears ran down her cheeks mixing with the semen now almost dry on her face. She felt Bobby stroking himself again.

Suddenly, he inserted two of his fingers into her depths, she moaned and felt her stomach contract, he almost immediately went to work on her g-spot. Eames mind began to peel back as his fingers worked quickly inside of her. She rocked back to feel his fingers deeper inside of her. He withdrew and sucked her off of his fingertips and then pushed back inside of her, working and prodding until Eames was bucking against his hand and moaning unconscously, he felt her spasm quickly around his hand and knew she was about to climax, he immediately withdrew his hand from her again and pushed her forcefully to the ground. He spoke his voice filled with power and darkness, he was right, hes not the same Bobby she knew.

He said harshly, "You dont come until I say so. Crawl and get your panties from over there." Her panties lay where she had left them while undressing she gathered the panties and crawled on all fours back over to Goren who was stroking himself still.

"Put them in your mouth." He ordered. She did and kneeled on her knees before him, she tried to read his needs, presenting herself for another blast of semen to her face. But Goren had other ideas, he pulled his belt from the slacks that were still about half way down his thighs and wrapped it around Eames neck. She sputtered and coughed as the belt tightened around her, the panties in her mouth prevented her from making much noise. He lowered himself behind her and placed her back on all fours. She felt him rubbing his manhood against her clit, rubbing fat circles over her labia. He groaned at the sensation of her. She found herself now moaning and writhing uncontrolllably, wetter than she had even been in life. With that he entered her, hard and rough in one stroke that sent flames of pain shooting up her spine and into her back. His massive cock was buried in her to the hilt. Eames mind went white. Bobby let out a sob and cracked, "I love you."

The words made her melt n buck into his hips, she hadn't expected any of this. He gripped the belt tighter around her throat making it hard for her to breath. He ran his hands over the crumpled panties in her mouth, touching her lips. He pumped into her from behind with purpose and control. He stroked her deep and for the first time lovingly, resting his head on her shoulder, listening to the echos of her moans. Thrusting harder into her the louder she got. Until he was practically pounding himself into her, he viewed himself sliding in and out of her and realized he was causing her to bleed. He knew she was in pain. That thought sent shudders of heat up his skin. _She's letting me hurt her_. He rammed himself into her now, desperate to see how much she could take, she finally broke, from the pain.

"Oh my God! Bobby...please stop...please stop" It sent him over the edge, he slammed her into the ground still banging away inside her, he now pulled the belt around her neck hard enough that she could no longer protest, he growled into her ear .

"No. I'm...not...finished...yet." He emphasized each word with the hardest thrusts he could muster. Eames had went silent from the pain and he dug his hands into her hips ready to climax. He thrust into her, slamming against her, until he felt himself burst, he released hot fluid into her, it was only as it began to spew from her mixed with her blood that he realized it was urine. He felt a rush unlike any of his life and then the orgasm hit him like a sledgehammer and he let out an animal sob, releasing the belt from her neck and collapsing on top of her, his weight pushing her into the floor. He kissed her back and pulled the panties from her mouth. In the aftermath, he didnt know what to say, he had been out of himself and now he was back to reality he was crushed.

_Im a pervert_ he thought to himself. He slowly withdrew from her and realized blood was trickling down both of their thighs and he had soaked the carpet with his own urine. Eames was very quiet and still. Goren decided to speak.

"I-i'm so sorry..." He was interrupted as she turned over and looked at him, her face compliant. She didnt speak she just raised up and cowered in his arms, she wanted to be held. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. He waited on her to speak and finally she did. "I love you." she said it simply and Goren felt flashes of love in his heart. "You do." he thought for a moment, venturing a statement that would let him know in which direction they were going. "We probably need a safe word...you know, something where you can tell me if you seriously need me to stop, I mean, I knew you were bleeding, but i just- I lost control." he admitted.

1Eames considered his statement and responded. "I don't need a safe word. You're in control." The statement was powerful. Then she asked, "if I ever asked you to stop, would you?" Her question hit him hard, he knew what she was asking, did he get so far outside of himself he would one day hurt her in a way for which neither one of them would be able to forgive? He didn't know what to say, but he knew his answer was essential to the trust they needed for him to let out his darkest desires with her. His mind flashed to the contraptions he would like to put her in, the outfits he would command her to wear, he felt sickened but relieved she would indulge his fantasies.

He decided on his answer, "to be honest...the way I felt tonight...I don't know if I could, Eames...I just-" she realized then she had to compeletly submit to him. She decided to let it all out. "its okay Bobby...I just have to trust you." she chuckled lightly and he squeezed her tight.

"No. I want you to know, that side of me...its just that...another side of me...I know-I know I hurt you...and you have to know im sorry, I can't control this, I've never let it out in this way before..I just need -" the rest of the sentence lingered in his mind, _to own you._ He felt sick and selfish and possessive. He felt as if he had soiled her, the smell of her vomit suddenly hit him in the nose and the blood on her legs was starting to dry. He was at a loss for words.

"What do you need?" Eames asked. He spit out his answer almost without thinking, "To know you can't leave me." His face flushed and he was glad she couldn't see him right now. Eames continued to lay on his chest, realizing he was more open if he could talk to her without looking at her. "I-" the words locked in his throat, _need you._

He felt a tear streak down his cheek and Eames instinctively got up to look at him. She realized why he needed to feel as if he had so much control over her, he was afraid she would leave, he suddenly looked like a insecure little boy, instead of the brutish man who had just torn her insides out. She realized she had begun her journey into the dark recesses of Bobby Goren's mind. He was many different men in one and now she could see the shame on his face for expressing himself sexually with her the way he did, he couldnt meet her eyes.

"Bobby" she cupped his face and felt more tears flow, he was filled with shame.

"I-I know I've probably left bruises all over you Alex...I- hate-"

"Stop" Eames came out of her submissive nature and took control.

"Bobby stop. You shared a very deep part of yourself with me today and I'm still here, I haven't gone anywhere. I didn't know...you know...that you were going to be so rough but I survived and I know what you want and how you want me and I'm willing to give it to you. I can be that for you" She looked into his eyes and told him what he needed to hear the most. Though he was so used to reading her mind, she had read his.

"You own me, Bobby Goren." His eyes flashed and his heart rested at peace, he felt safe that she wasn't leaving. The sweet Goren, Eames knew and loved returned, he asked shyly tipping his head slightly, "Do you want me to clean you up?" she read his face for the answer he wanted, then decided "Yes."

He swept her up and carried her into the shower, turning the water on he watched as she stood in the shower rinsing herself of her blood and vomit and his urine and semen. He watched, seeing the places on her body he was sure bruises would form, he realized he had claimed her, marked her with his fluids like an animal and she endured. No woman had been able to take him at his most violent, Alex was able to and fully submitted to him, she endured his rage, his hate for his parents and his shattered childhood, his nightmares, his genetic ticks that likely arose because of his biological fathers murdurous tendencies, she had taken all of him.


	2. Seeing Red

Eames mind raced as she walked into the station. Last night with Goren had been more than she ever imagined. She didn't know how to act around him now. Should she keep it business as usual? She decided to flash him a knowing smile and then sink into their work relationship as normal. He sat as his desk across from hers with his head down. He didn't seem any different. She was embarrassed to admit she had worn a little extra make-up and a rarely-seen pink blouse for him today. _I'm dressing for him, how stupid, _she thought. Her insides trembled as she took her seat across from him. He spoke almost immediately, his voice as sweet as honey.

"Good Morning." he smiled at her sweetly.

"Morning." she responded relieved.

He didn't say much else for several hours and Eames began to question if everything was, in fact, okay. Goren enjoyed the silence between them, it afforded him quality time with his thoughts. His mind replayed the events with Eames from the night before. Flashes of her moans and body wiped across his mind. His mind shifted to the item he had in his pocket for her. He didn't want to overwhelm her, asking her for too much too fast. He thought of Eames dry humor and it made him smile. She had an unassuming quickness to her intellect. He decided her uniqueness was...quiet, but definitely present.

His self-control finally broke and he let his eyes invade the sight of her. He had to admit...he liked Eames in pink. The color went nicely with her skin tone and dark blond hair. She could always feel his eyes on her and he took note that her cheeks had begin to flush. Goren remembered what was in his pocket and made his move.

"Eames, I have something for you." he said, trying to pique her interest.

Her heart began to race and she knew by the tone of his voice, he was referring to something sensuous.

"Ok. So lets see it." she chirped, keeping her professional facade. Goren's eyes burned.

"I have to show you...somewhere private." he lowered his voice and let his eyes hit the floor, beginning to doubt bringing up the surprise all together. Eames mind moved quickly, trying to think of somewhere close they could be alone. He cut her off.

"Let's get some lunch or something, I need some air."

He didn't wait for her to answer and swooped out of his chair, grabbing his things awkwardly. Eames smiled to herself, she loved the contrast of his slightly-nerdish personality with his impressive height and physical presence.

"Ok" she said quietly.

They arrived to the restaurant after a quiet ride there. Eames mind burned to know what Bobby wanted to give her. They sat in the busy restaurant, surrounded by the lunchtime business casual crowd. She reviewed the menu, unable to decide on anything that sounded particularly appetizing. She looked across at Goren, who had his face nearly buried in the menu, she was unable to see much other than the top of his head. She was growing impatient. She huffed and decided to excuse herself to the ladies room. _What are we even doing, _she thought.

She looked herself over in the ladies room mirror, deciding for herself she did look better today, than most. She shuffled through her purse looking to add an extra swipe of pink gloss to her lips. She knew enough about Goren to know he was responding positively to her in a color she almost never wore. Suddenly, she jumped, Goren's face had appeared with hers in the mirror. It took her a moment to process and then she spun around to be confronted with his presence in the ladies room.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in here." she said playfully. Goren said nothing.Then,

"Do you want what I have for you now?" he tipped his head slightly, then jerking it in another direction.

Eames heart was racing. What could it be? She dropped her eyes and exhaled evenly, "Yes."

Goren walked over to the stall closest to the door and opened it. He called to Eames from over the stall,

"You know, the cleanest stall in a public restroom is the first one closest to the door. Most people pass that one when selecting a stall they feel is the cleanest. It-it is typically the least used."

Eames didn't know what to make of his statement, she would usually deadpan or make some sarcastic remark but he had gotten her curiosity burning. He peeped his head back from out of the stall and motioned to her with his long finger to come inside. She obeyed. In similar fashion to the night before Goren was upon her quickly and without warning. He had snatched her into the stall and pressed her against the door from the inside. She couldn't move. Goren reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bit of red fabric. He placed his mouth millimeters from Eames ear, "Will you wear this for me?" he asked, his breath heavy and jagged.

Eames nodded her head yes, and he noticed how her face and neck were flushed and covered in goosebumps. He reached his hand up her skirt and yanked at her panties. Ripping them from her body after only harshly pulling them against her thighs. Goren rose them to his nose. She knew he had an incredible sense of smell and suddenly felt ashamed that her underwear may be less than fresh. He gave her no such impression. He let the smell buried lightly in the fabric dance in his nose. He huffed the scent again and again. Eames felt a rush, no man had ever found such things about her desirable.

Then he somehow bent his huge frame in the stall, until he was crouched down, his face inches from Eames ankles. He delicately touched her calves, running his fingers across her skin with the lightest touch. He gave her open mouth kisses behind her kneecaps, she felt as if her legs were made of sand. She felt him gently lift her heel and slip the fabric around one ankle and then the other. She realized he had brought her _new _panties. She arched her back at the idea and Goren's quickness assessed it immediately. He playfully bit her leg unexpectedly, causing her to gasp loudly, the sound echoed through the bathroom and Eames became startling aware that she was still in public. Bobby had made her completely forget. He sensed her tension and decided to distract her before she had too much time to think. He snatched the panties up, until they ground into Eames pubic bone. She winced in pain. Goren knotted the fabric around his fingers, gripping more of the fabric in his hand. He yanked at them again, slicing between her labia. Her skin burned.

Then she felt him reaching into his own pants. He quickly and nearly silently pulled himself out of his pants and began to stroke. His hands worked quickly up and down his length and Eames mind flashed to the night before. _He can't do this on my face_...she felt rejected. Bobby clearly preferred touching himself to allowing her to touch him. She realized then that she had _never_ touched his manhood or even felt his lips on hers_. I bet he has problems with intimacy_, Eames mini-evaluation of Goren's emotional state was interrupted by his groan. He was nearing the edge so quickly. Eames wanted to feel him, she attempted to reach her hand around to stroke him to climax. Goren caught her hand before she made it half way around her own body. He pinned it behind her, digging into the small of her back. He continued to masturbate stroking now more quickly. Eames writhed her hips, hoping to feel him, she didn't like him pleasuring himself without even allowing her any access to him. She craned her hips backwards hoping to encourage him into more physical contact. Goren shifted backwards and pinned her more firmly against the stall door, pushing hard into her lower back with the same hand still gripped tightly around the red panties yanked between her legs. Her struggling was only causing her more pain. He lowered his member to right below Eames opening. She was desperate to lower herself on to Bobby but his grip on the panties prevented her from going any lower than he wished. He massaged his head less than a half inch from her entrance, pounding on the flesh, bringing it back and forth along his girth. He met the point of no return, now his breathing was erratic as he desperately tried to keep his voice low in the echoing bathroom. He pulled the panties harder between her legs, she felt as if they were about to rip, and then he suddenly snatched them down to the middle of her thigh. Goren's head was rolling back and he sobbed between gritted teeth. The orgasm claimed him as his heartbeat exploded between his thighs, he grabbed the crotch of the panties and ejacualted into them, staining the fabric with his thick clear-ish streams. Eames grunted and then, without warning, Goren yanked the panties back in between her legs, smashing his cum into her. He patted the fabric firmly, rubbing over her mound. He fought to catch his breath,

"Wear these all day." he stated it as a command to Eames. She didn't dare speak. He was finally opening up to her in some way, after all these years, even if it was like this, she wasn't going to do anything to scare him away. She nodded her head, ok. And Bobby was gone, and then she realized...she still hadn't touched or kissed him. Eames searched her own mind to see if she was really comfortable with Goren's ways. She had been humiliated the night before and today in the bathroom stall, she felt totally out of control. She shifted in her seat at the lunchtable, eating her sandwich and salad, she still felt Bobby's cum drying in the underwear he had pulled out of shape. He sat across from her, eating as if nothing had even happened. He was unusually quiet she noted. She decided to spark some conversation, since he was so full of surprises, she could pull a few of her own.

"Are you afraid of intimacy?" Eames asked matter-of-factly. Goren froze, taken off gaurd. He didn't speak and Eames grew uncomfortable with his silence. _What is she doing?? _he asked himself. He didn't know how to answer the question, so he posited another.

"What do you mean by intimcay?" he asked.

Eames wanted to say, normal things like kissing or hand holdling. She looked into his eyes...she knew he wasn't normal. But was it unfair of her to expect those things of him...to kiss her? _if he can cum all over my face why can't he kiss me?_ She realized after her shower the night before, Bobby didn't hold her, he dressed her and then walked her to the door. She just figured he needed to be alone. Now she realized he may not even be able to _feel_ intimacy, he seemed to always express himself so violently, but at least...he was expressing himself. She had felt so locked out of Bobby other than his theories or here and there mentions of families and experiences she felt pleased to be privy to one of the most hidden sides of himself. She tried to use Goren-logic, that, in and of itself showed she he wasn't as locked away as he always appeared. She answered him.

"Like closeness..." she took a breath, "without...being rough."

His heart sank, he knew he had done too much too fast. He had pushed her away already. It had barely been a day. His neck snapped and he kept his head down, his hand covering his mouth. Eames feared she had lost him, maybe he didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to help the situation.

"It's ok, Bobby. We don't have to talk about it. Just-pretend-act like I never brought it up." She looked in his eyes and realized he wouldn't be able to do that.

The rest of lunch was silent and Goren didn't speak to her the rest of the day. He just chewed on what she said. He knew no woman would want to be treated the way he had started to treating her and now it would be impossible for them to return to simply being partners. He was angry with himself. His stomach turned at the idea that she was still wearing his semen stained panties. Everything was ruined. Eames got up to leave for the night, playing along with his silent game. His chest tightened at the thought of her leaving for the day, he hadn't said anything to her for hours. The words caught in his mouth. She walked out of the room, his mind raced, he took the stairs and exited out by the parking lot. He saw Eames headed towards her car. He caught up to her in a few quick strides and gently stepped in front of her, blocking her way. Eames sidestepped him silently and his long legs beat her there. He wouldn't let her pass. They doged back and forth for a while, until Eames realized he wasn't going to let her get into her car.

"Goren, what the hell?" she spat. He realized she was angry.

He rushed towards her filled with heat, but this time, slowed and softly nuzzled his face against hers. He ran his breath across her face and cupped the side of her face in his large hand. His heart was pounding. His fingertips found hers and he pressed his tips against hers. His breath quickened and she felt his nose caress hers and then slide gently across her cheeck. He lined his lips up with hers, speaking just a moment away from her lips, "Eames..can I kiss you?" she pressed her lips into his in response and he was receptive. His mouth opening to accept her lips in between. He kissed her gently and sweetly, his tongue barely grazing hers, running across her lips with the lightest touch. Goren felt like he couldn't breath, her lips felt warm and soft against his face. He wanted to take her, but he fought the urge. His mind was flooded, he wanted to slam her against the car, he wanted to slip himself inside of her right in this parking lot, he wanted to force her to scream. Goosebumps rose on his flesh and his groined flexed at his thoughts. He knew he had to continue kissing Eames as gently as he could,_ just focus on kissing her_. His mind flashed to Eames wearing the panties from earlier. He lost control. He grabbed a fistful of Eames hair and pulled her head roughly, he growled,

"Do you still have them on?" Eames nodded her head yes and Bobby said it again, "Good girl." the phrase sent rushes of heat down her back. She remembered him saying the same thing to her the night before, her defenses were weakened. He pushed her head, releasing her hair and walked away. Eames looked around for a while, wondering if he would return, and then decided to get into her car and head home for the night.


	3. Please

When Eames arrived home she didn't know what to think. Bobby had kissed her so sweetly and then turned on her so fast. Her scalp was sore from where he pulled her hair, he didn't realize his own strength. She began to question did she realize her own. Eames felt she had let Bobby hypnotize her into a stupor. He was completely in control and all of his needs were being met. He turned her on and off like a faucet. Her resentment grew. The way he looked at her with his intense brown eyes made her feel like he could see into her mind, her past, her emotions. His gaze was enough to burn. She felt like he saw, some days she really wasn't as strong as she pretended to be. The stress from the job, plus life after Joe's death made Eames want to cry at night. But she didn't. She didn't allow herself.

Eames remained strong through it all. It was something she learned from her father, she picked it up in a small lesson he gave her about being a cop. He told her she would be working mostly with men and the only thing men respect or understand is _strength._ She took it to heart, never conveying any weakness while on the job or within her relationships with men. There was nothing you could throw at Alexandra Eames that she couldn't handle, with solid grace.

She lightly rubbed between her legs feeling the red lace panties Bobby had got for her. They were now totally dry but smelled uniquely like him. She didn't want to remove them. She felt a small sadness in her heart. She disliked when Goren withdrew from her. It was like at one moment, with one glance, he could look at her and they would feel so connected she could feel him inside of her skin and then others when he seemed a million miles away. His last words lingered on her mind, _good girl_.. she smiled to herself.

Goren arrived home filled with frustration. Eames had teased him. He could still taste her lips and now he was home, alone. His chest felt heavy and tight, he was semi-erect but every muscle in his body was wound. Flashes of Eames pink blouse. Flashes of Eames soft calves and delicate ankles. Flashes of her hair, and her mouth, and her waist, flashes of his hands gripping her ass, harder and harder, her moan, his breath, her skin. Goren couldn't focus. He picked up his cell phone.

Eames was startled as the phone on her kitchen wall rang. It was late, who would be calling? She picked up.

"Hello?" she said in her light but husky voice. She heard silence. She knew it was Goren. More silence. Finally, after she waited him out, he spoke,

"Eames." his voice was measured.

She waited for him to add. He didn't.

"Is something wrong?" she knew there probably wasn't but she couldn't think of anything better to say. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable about how quiet he had been lately. He cleared his throat, and spoke,

"I need to see you." he clenched his throat, he didn't want to be so direct or desperate, he knew ultimately it turned women off. His head was buzzing, his mind again flashing Eames bent over with the belt around her neck, Eames choking on him the rush he felt when she heaved around him, his own powerful orgasms, Eames was running his mind. He couldn't even think or hear if she had responded, he spoke again, this time is voice heavy with emotion.

"Eames. Open the door."

At first she didn't know what he meant, then she turned her direction towards her front door. She was still wearing her pink blouse and gray skirt from earlier. She opened the door, Goren was standing there, he was massive, he took up nearly the entire frame. She felt her insides flip at the sight of him. The look in his eyes, melted her defenses, he looked slightly ragged and tense, she wanted to relax him. She took his hand and pulled him inside. Her hands were so small inside of his, his heart was pounding. She led them to the couch keeping Bobby at an arms length. He sat down his eyes glued to her, neither one of them speaking. Goren crooked his neck and tried to regain composure. His heart rate slowed. He relaxed into his seat on her couch.

His eyes deepened and she felt the familiar lightness in her head that had come right before she let Bobby take her. She was truly hypnotized. Her resentment for his rough controlling ways dissapated. She felt completely open and willing to recieve him, in whatever capacity. His eyes flashed and he looked shy. He disliked that his arousal was so apparent, he didn't want her to think that was the only reason he came. He didn't like not speaking to her, he wanted to explain there was so much he wanted to say, he couldn't even get it out. A mountain of unexpressed thoughts and feelings craned on the tip of his tongue. Eames just wanted to be close to him. She hoped they could relax into eachother and let the days earlier events go.

Eames crawled onto his lap and curled up under him. She nuzzled her face in between his shoulder and jaw. She was attempting to create intimacy. He didn't move. She breathed lightly onto his neck and she felt his groin jerk against her in response. His neck pulled lightly. He slowly brought his hands over her hips and held her. _This is nice_, she thought. Goren's mind pulsed images of Eames in every capacity her knew her, his mind saw her crying, afraid, overjoyed, accomplished, surprised, interwoven with the curve of her hip, her small soft mouth, her throat, her breasts, her thighs, his hand punishing her skin, her cries. His breathing increased and he smelled her hair, his mind flashed to the scent of her panties, his member began to rage, he knew she could feel it. Eames tensed, knowing at any moment he could or would grab her, crush her, or tear into her.

Goren sensed her tension, it heightened his arousal, his self control was loosening, he leaned into Eames forhead trying to tip her head back with kisses. She obliged him and turned to give him better access to her mouth. His hands instinctively grabbed her waist as his lips first grazed her. He kissed her more delicately now than he had in the parking lot, yet Eames felt short of breath. Goren's hands were gripped tightly on her waist, she felt the pressure building in her ribs. His mouth pressed into hers softly, his tongue pressed gently underneath hers, they breathed eachother's breath as Eames began to pant, half gasping for air. Bobby was nearly crushing her waist, while still lingering the softest lightest kisses across her face and nose. His mouth and lips moved in slow motion over hers, dripping her soft kisses like honey. His hands were trembling as he gripped her and she felt him throbbing underneath her.He continued administering fragile breathless kisses. Goren attempted to speak but his words were breathless and noncoherent. She realized then how truly aroused he was. He began grinding his hips into her on his lap. His breath began to catch and he seemed as if he were about to choke. He ran his lips across Eames again and dug his fingers into her sides. He knew he had to release her soon, her body was tensing from the pain. He didn't want to let go. He gripped her tighter still placing soft kisses on her lips. He tried to hold his breath, hold his composure, his skin rushed at the realization of how tightly she was allowing him to hold her. He didn't want to let go, squeezing her harder still. Eames felt like she was going to burst or her ribs were going to cave in, but he continued to kiss her lovingly. She finally cried out as he broke her pain threshold. Goren let out something between a moan and a cough and relased her, immediately reaching to hug her gently, wrapping his arms around her protectively.

He laid her back on the couch, and her eyes stung with tears. He held her now, sweetly. Still placing slow kisses all over her face. Her insides trembled, _what if he hadn't let me go_. Her heart began to pump harder and she felt Bobby cuddling her in such a gentle and protective way. He lay next to her his erection at full force and confined uncomfortably in his pants. He knew she could feel him, _Its okay. I'm only kissing her_. His mind tried to block out that he had just nearly squeezed the life out of her. Eames began to build up a wall, _he doesn't even give me a choice if i want to do this_. She remembered how earlier in the day he just appeared in the ladies bathroom, one place women should be safe from men. She felt as if he didn't respect her. What man could respect a woman who would allow herself to be violated in the way she was her first night with Bobby. Her chest began to heave as she feared she may have ruined things with Bobby already by allowing him to treat her in such ways. She knew she had to be strong. She attempted to get up from the couch, Goren pressed her down by her stomach, she thought _does he really have to control everything now, give him an inch and hes off and running._

His eyes flashed sheepishly and he lightened the pressure he applied to keep her on the couch. He leaned slowly into her, leaning to kiss her neck. He breathed in her scent and ran hot kisses behind her ear, his body writhing slowly but powerfully over hers, grinding his weight into her. Eames exhaled as she absorbed his body weight, he made her feel so small. He whispered into her ear.

"Are you still a good girl?" Eames nerves sat on edge at his use of the phrase, her head became light, she pressed her body into his now, matching his slow rythmic grind and enjoy his kisses and breath on her neck. She wanted to say yes but this time her pride couldn't let her. Goren sensed her hesitation. He thrust his hips into her causing her to gasp and she felt his hand upon her throat once more. He spoke into her hair,

"The greatest strength...is in submission," he kissed her gently now, still keeping his hold on her throat. "I've submitted to you...to my desires for you...why can't you?" She didn't say anything, and Goren bucked his hips into her again, he spoke a simple truth, "if it wasn't somewhere inside of you...it wouldn't have happened." She held her breath at this. He was right she knew, if just a look from his eyes could melt her into submission, something was there. Again, Goren had left her with little to say but nod her head, so many times, he said it all.

She lowered her eyes and decided if she had got him to kiss her, maybe she could touch him. She ran her hand quickly over his bulge, squeezing lightly through the fabric of his pants. His thighs hardened and he caught his breath in his throat. His hand met hers between his legs as he wrestled with her fingers for position over his erection. Eames realized he was trying to push her hand away. She swallowed her pride and decided if she were going to submit to this thing she was going to do it all the way, she held her breath and asked,

"Please?"

Bobby shuddered, his mind spinning wildly, he heard Eames whispering in his ear, her heavy breathing, flashes of her skin glistening with sweat, the blood running from her thighs, her delicate waist under his hands, her voice. He exhaled sharply as she tugged at him through his pants again.

"Please, what?" Goren managed.

"Please, Bobby, can I touch you?" Eames asked her voice barely a whisper. He didn't want to deny her. He also realized she had pulled back another small layer of herself, setting aside just a small amount of pride. He decided to match her again. He spoke honestly,

"Eames. If you touch me...I won't last.Your hands..." She interrupted him, unzipping his pants. His body tumbled. He couldn't protest, he continued kissing her lightly, trying not to overwhelm his senses, her hands worked quickly to get inside his underwear and within moments he felt her soft fingertips wrapping around his member. She tried to focus her attention on the head, like she noticed he had. His body responded, seeping sticky fluid into her fingers. His body seemed to have frozen, she enjoyed feeling a little bit of power over him as it seemed her touch had him paralyzed. She reached down to cup his balls, his stomach contracted in response and she heard his breathing turn into a pant. Her tiny hands felt amazing to Goren. His mind wiped clean and the only thing he was aware of was the sensation of her touching him. He had spent so many years, pleasuring himself, he almost forgot how good a woman's touch could be. She was more gentle and agile while stroking him, than his normal quick jerk-offs. Her touch created heat in his stomach and thighs. She ran her fingers up and down him more quickly and she heard him begin to moan. She hadn't noticed him making much noise in their earlier encounters and the sound of him in pleasure encouraged her to continue, heat rushing over her skin. Bobby's legs shook and he moaned now more clearly, Eames hand working double time to bring him to climax, gripping tightly around his base and increasing the pressure she applied with his hand as she neared his tip. His entire body trembled, words fell out of his mouth,

"Eames...so close...ahhh...I..." Goren felt himself snap, saying the random things people say when they are seconds from orgasm. She was pounding him now with her small hand, working vigourously over his length, his moans echoed in her ears and she felt his body jolting with pleasure, she didn't realize she could make him feel this way. She felt his testicles tighten and his cock jerk and then he was releasing into her hand with a sputtering groan. Every muscle in his body relaxed and he tried to catch his breath. Eames felt pleased with herself, she had brought him to climax in just a few minutes. Goren, shyly tucked his softening manhood back into his pants.

They lay on the couch with him holding her. Neither one of them spoke. _Now this is intimacy_, she thought. Goren held her for close to an hour before speaking, he wanted to say it, but his heart was pounding, he didn't know why, she had already said it to him. But he questioned to himself, could she really mean it the way he did? He decided to speak before the sound of his heartbeat covered his thoughts.

"I love you." he spoke quietly into the darkness. She didn't respond. Goren's heart pounded double time. He knew letting her touch him was a bad idea. He allowed her to see him weakened by her touch, she wouldn't respect him to dominate her now. He held his breath in the silence and then picked up on the sound of her snoring. _She's asleep_ he felt somewhat relieved that at least he hadn't been rejected.


	4. Breaking

Goren took the silent time on the couch with Eames sleeping in his arms, to think. He hated how she ripped him from his element. Her prescence had been drowning over the past days, seeming like the only thing he could focus on. He thought of her constantly, craved her beyond reason. He had never physically or emotionally responded to any woman they way he responded to Eames. He realized they had taken things slow, he came to understand her, and truly know her, through spending so much time with her day in and day out. Years, but it seemed over the past few months they had been working extra long hours, to spend more time with eachother, and avoid the lonliness and late night nightmares that awaited them at home. He looked down at her, cuddled in his arms. _Why did I tell her it was inside of her...this thing...its inside of me, not her, she never asked for any of this_. He realized he would have said anything to get her where he wanted her. He felt like a manipulative teenage boy.

Goren's mind flashed back to one of the conversations he had with his biological father, he hated Brady, especially when the topic of his mother came up. Everytime he called her "Bambi" his stomach turned. On this day, Brady took Goren too far, and he flew in a rage, choking Brady and slamming him against the wall. He was mad enough to kill. Brady's words rang in his ears, "You can do it, you have it in you." He was further enraged that Brady would imply Goren could be a killer, but he knew enough from his interrogations and years in profiling, when someone responds to a statement with anger, it is usually because there is some truth to it. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind.

His mind dropped onto Eames small hand massaging him earlier. Her touch had reduced him to a trembling fool. He felt like a chunk of him had been cut out, he never wanted Eames to know how much power she had over him. But now his actions were beyond his control. He barely remembered how he made it from his house to hers. He felt out of control. He didn't want to think any sexual thoughts anyway, he knew her long enough, he could read her like the back of his hand. She wanted intimacy, she wanted him to control himself. He wanted to be a good man for her, take care of her, love her into old age. He squeezed Eames more tightly in his arms and she stirred. Eames drank in the scent of his chest. He smelled masculine and something spicy mixed with something soapy. She opened her eyes,

"How long have I been asleep?" her voice lowered by the night.

"Not long." Goren whispered. He had barely closed his eyes since she had fallen asleep, his mind working overtime, to make sense of their situation, they both seemed to have been out of themselves, and now something solid and heavy, reality, was sitting right on his chest. She saw in his eyes, something was bothering him. She sat up, unwrinkling her skirt. Goren repositioned himself, sitting in his familiar hunch, elbows on knees, adjusting for his height so he could look into people's eyes without them having to look up. He noticed he used this posture more with women and when he was trying to appear less intimidating. Eames kept her eyes on the floor. The words hung on his lips, he couldn't speak again. All the words piled up right behind his lips, his face burned with fustration. He couldn't think of what to say,

"I'm going to go." he stated. Eames said nothing and then,

"Do you want to? You don't have to." she didn't want to sound desperate or as if she were pressuring Bobby. She cut her sentence short, _I want you to stay. _

Goren gruffed and rubbed the back of his neck, the wheels in his mind turning. He decided he could stay and he would control himself. He nodded his head slowly. Eames grabbed his hand and led him into her bedroom, he felt at ease in her room. It was full and open at the same time. Her bed was large and covered in pillows, _a bed fit for a princess _he smiled to himself. Her bed reminded him of his mother's and when he asked her why she had so many pillows on her bed she said, her bed was fit for a princess.

Eames pecked Bobby on the lips. "I'm getting in the shower." Goren nodded, still taken back by her quick kiss, it was the way a couple would kiss. The idea of being her boyfriend made his heart flutter. He didn't want to mess anything up. _I definitely need to control myself_. He didn't care what Eames came out of that shower wearing, he wasn't giving into that beast within him, once was enough, he could control this, Eames was worth it. She padded out of the shower in less than ten minutes, her hair wet and waving lightly, wrapped in a pink robe. _Eames in pink._ She grabbed a set of pink pajamas and headed back into the bathroom to change. Goren stopped her.

"Eames." his face flushed, "You can dress in here." he took a breath ,"I like to watch." His neck twitched again and he pursed his lips in his traditional Goren way. The words replayed in her mind, _I like to watch..._

"Well, then, you can watch later, I think I'm going to just wear this for now." She neared the bed in her robe.

Goren felt as if he had made her change her mind about changing clothes. Eames was a detective, he knew she had put two and two together and realized he watched her at work all of the time and most of the time she had no idea. He felt like he had probably creeped her out, made her feel like a sex object, and made himself all that much more unattractive to him. He had to be measured in his dealings with Eames, at least for now, things were still so new and delicate. He would not let her break his defenses, he was going to just give her kisses and intimacy. She could tell from how she responded in the parking lot, she preferred when he was gentle with her.

Goren opened the covers to her and accepted her into bed. He kissed her lips and held her, after a few moments, she pressed her thigh in between his legs. He tried to pretend he didn't feel the added pressure, until she increased it. He slid back from her less than an inch, just enough to pull himself out of the compromising position. She pressed soft kisses onto his neck and breathed into his ear, the way she said his name let him know she desired him, "Bobbbyyyyyyy" she was trying to weaken his resolve. He felt his member slowly filling with blood, he turned his lower half away from her now, pulling her a bit closer again, "I just want to hold you." he spoke, repressing the truth in an attempt to give her what she truly wanted. Eames felt dejected, she rolled over and allowed Goren to spoon her, he lay with inches in between them. She listened to his breathing to see if she could tell if he was falling asleep. He wasn't.

Several minutes later, she tried again, pulling his hand onto her hip, under the robe. He obliged the move, feeling the extra contact wouldn't weaken his resolve, but then he felt it. A small swatch of lace tangled around his fingers. _Eames was still wearing the panties_ he groaned. His mind turned upside down. She had set him off. Within seconds, he had her pushed into the mattress, shoving himself into her slowly, she wasn't wet and with Bobby's size, the pain was intense. Her skin clung roughly to him as he stroked, he thrust hard and deep, pulling out nearly to the tip before charging back into her fully. He became aware of his own grunts, most intense when he pushed back into her. He grabbed her hips, digging his nails into her, he saw the now blue and purple bruises he left on her thighs from earlier. His body spasmed, causing him to lose coherent thought. He ground himself hard and deep into Eames, tearing through her now slightly wet folds. The friction was building heat in his stomach, his moans cracked into words, he snatched Eames by her forehead, pulling her ear to his mouth. "I'm sorry.." he meant it, as he thrust into her with abandon. He knew she wasn't ready, he knew she was probably still sore from before when he had her bleeding. He felt weakened, maybe he really couldn't control this. His pace increased and he held Eames more tightly, he murmered endlessly, "Eames...I'm so sorry...I can't" He drove himself into her, she felt pressure building in her back and cervix, Bobby pumped into her like a man possessed. He grabbed fistfuls of her hair and a handful of her ass and squeezed and pulled. He yanked her cheeks apart, trying to capture a better view of himself entering her and to check if she was bleeding, he pulled so far she felt her anus was going to rip. He growled and spread her legs apart, allowing himself a deeper stroke, his mind was static. Heat and pressure built inside of him, rumbling beneath the surface, he slammed himself into Eames now and she began to whimper. She sounded weak and in pain. Bobby reached, covering her mouth with his hand, _he didnt want to hear this._ He couldn't stop, the beast overtook him, he pumped wildly into her, gripping her mouth so tightly, he could feel her teeth against his palm. He removed himself, up to the head and let it linger momentarily catching his breath, he heard Eames moaning into his hand, he gave in. "I'm so sorry...so sorry" He coughed, grinding himself into her depths, he let her swallow him, her skin was moist and warm, and extra tight, the extra friction had Eames in pain and Goren's head swimming. He plunged into her tightness now, throwing his head back, moaning his apologies as he violated her body, pounding into her with all of his strength, his testicles pressed in between them and his skin rushed knowing he was as deep inside of her as he could possibly be. He exploaded, roaring loudly, pulling on whatever part of Eames body he could get his hands on. He came inside of her, his thoughts unable to even process the idea of pulling out. He withdrew from her as his orgasm ended.

He rolled on his back away from Eames. She was angry. He could feel it.


	5. Chloe

Eames lay on the bed, cold. Goren didn't dare part his lips to breathe a word. He wanted to hold her, but felt his gesture would be written off as insincere, given his actions. The silence hung in the room like a weight. His eyes continuously traced invisible lines on the ceiling, he tried to mentally remove himself from this room... and Eames. She finally spoke,

"Bobby..." he knew what was coming next. He got up quickly, over talking her.

"Eames. Eames. It's ok, I understand." he slipped back into his shoes and was standing over her in the bed. He looked down at the floor. "I'm leaving now." and he turned heading for her bedroom door. Her voice in a screech stopped him.

"BOBBBBY!" she grit her teeth in frustration. She sat in the middle of her bed, her pink robe half covering her naked body, which was spattered with bruises caused by this man who wanted to have her when and how she wanted and then run from her like he was fleeing a crime scene. She burst into tears. His heart broke. Eames didn't want to be strong, anymore. She cried from deep within, her sobs trailing off into near silence before beginning again. Goren stood in her bedroom with his back to her, he couldn't turn around. The sound of her crying...because of him...tore him in half._ I knew I would do this to her_, he thought. He didn't attempt to comfort her, no longer hoping to convince her could let anyone that close to him, not even her. He hung his head. He needed her. Eames eyes burned, her face streaked with tears, she realized she was still looking at Goren's back. _The callous, selfish, bastard_...she thought to herself. She picked up a pillow throwing it hard at him, hitting him behind his shoulder. Eames growled, using her voice towards him in a way he had never heard. It cut like a weapon.

"Get the hell out of my house."

He didn't move, he just stood there, his heart racing, hoping there would be something he could say to fix this, or in a few moments she would change her mind. Eames dashed his hopes.

"Get out! Get out, get out, get out! Leave, Bobby. Now!!" She was out of the bed and flying towards him, her robe sweeping behind her, in seconds. She pushed two small hands into his chest, shoving him. She hit him again, this time harder, punching him in his stomach and then slapping him across the face. Her small hand stung him with force, he attempted to grab her, but couldn't catch her in her rage.

She blew past him into her bathroom and slammed the door. Bobby remained standing in her bedroom. _I can just wait here, until she comes out, she needs to calm down some_, then he realized he didn't even know what to say to her. There was nothing he could say to her. Eames had never yelled at him or put her hands on him in that way. His heart dropped. He ran his fingers roughly through his hair and then decided, _I'm leaving._

Eames waited in the bathroom listening by the door, hot tears still streaking her face, she heard the door click shut as he left. She collapsed onto the floor, everything was ruined between them. She peeked in between her legs to check the damage left behind. She was swollen and his fluids were remained in her pubic hair. She remembered the sound of Bobby groaning in her ear, begging her forgiveness as he ripped into her. She felt a fear growing in her heart, something was wrong with him. Eames thought to herself, _what did I expect with man with a schizophrenic mother and a serial-killer father_. She damned herself for even presenting herself to Bobby at his apartment, after the incident in the elevator. All the signs were there, she shook her head. She had let his eyes hypnotize her, she got caught up believing her and Bobby could create an alternate reality together, similar to the one they engaged in at work, an escape from the loneliness. She didn't foresee all of this, and he tried to warn her. _"You don't want what you think you want" _his words burned in her mind. Eames stepped into her shower, she wanted to wash Goren away.

Goren left Eames apartment and was walking the street. It was late and Eames didn't live in the greatest part of town, but he didn't worry, he knew how to handle himself. His mind was fixated on Eames anger. Had he pushed her to that point? He tried to imagine being in her position but his mind would only let him empathize so far. Everything between them was done. There was no way their relationship could recover from this. Goren felt a clench in his throat, he wanted to cry, his mind flashed Eames bruises, he felt sickened. _Of all the people to let this out on...her_. He felt life had sucker punched him again. He walked almost aimlessly now, wanting a cigarette, though he had quit, he rationalized to himself that he was especially uniquely stressed. He stepped into the next corner store and bought a pack.

Goren stood close to an alley, smoking, he visually took in his surroundings, trying to gather what part of town he had ventured into. He spotted a small sign across the street, that read, adult entertainment. He took a long drag on the cigarette before making a decision. He walked across the street.

He entered into a small darkly lit strip club, that smelled like stale cigarettes and spilled alcohol. A topless red-head passed him as he entered, winking in his direction.

"Hey, big fella." she smiled flirtatiously.

He smiled back and then kept walking, finding a small table near the corner stage to accommodate him. He took a seat and ordered vodka from a small chested brunette with long slim legs. He watched her legs as she walked away, they went on for miles. He swallowed about a shots worth of his vodka. The night went on, women flocked to Goren, asking him to receive lap dances or order more drinks. He took them up on the second offer, until his eyes were glassed over and his senses were dulled. His mind landed on Eames, he wondered if she was still crying. His chest tightened thinking about her and he decided if there was nothing he could do to fix it, he didn't want to torture himself analyzing it.

Then the lights dimmed until the club was almost black, the DJ made an announcement.

"Gentlemen, we proudly bring to the stage tonight, the beautiful, the intoxicating, the seductive...Chloe."

A spotlight shone on the stage and a small arm appeared through the curtains, the woman's finger waved come hither and then the music began. A slow trumpet solo began, it sounded like slower more sexy modern day burlesque music. It piqued Goren's interest and his eyes focused intently on the stage, he was curious who this arm belonged to.

A small but curvaceous woman slinked from behind the curtains, her back still to those who viewed her, the trumpet began to wail and she pulled her panties down, slowly, tortuously, spreading her legs just slightly. She was blonde, with creamy skin. The trumpet faded out and all that was left was a bass percussion that thumped with a tribal sexuality. The woman wound her hips, pulsing her pelvis, indulating with sexual energy...and then she faced the crowd.

Time stopped. Goren couldn't breath. It was Nicole.

He wasn't sure if he could see him through the crowd. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He searched her face over and over again, double and triple checking that she was in fact who he thought she was. Her small features, her large eyes and light blond hair were unmistakable. She crawled on the stage, covering her breasts with her hands, she had been far less raunchy that the other strippers on the stage who were doing splits and pole tricks. Nicole was more controlled, her movements more deliberately sensual. She spotted Bobby in the crowd, she was as surprised to see him as he was to see her. Her song ended and she pranced off stage, flashing Bobby a wink before she disappeared behind the curtain.

Goren sat eying his drink. He finished it all in one large gulp, his throat burned_. I need to get out of here_. His neck craned trying to see if Nicole had vanished into the shadows again. Instead her face appeared across from him at his small table. Her face seemed filled with light.

"Enjoy the show, Bobby?" she smirked, her voice drenched with her english/australian accent, he said nothing, deciding if he should arrest her right now. She cocked her head adding sweetly,

"I know you like to watch." Goren felt his neck twitch, pulling to his left.

"I should take you to jail, Nicole." his voice was measured and terse.

"My name is Chloe." her eyes sparkled, "and if you _could_ put me in jail Bobby, I'm sure that's where'd I'd be, yet..."

"Yet?" Goren panned.

"Yet, here we are" she finished lightly.

Her feet were cramped into 6 inch black heels. Her blue eyes were surrounded by heavy black make-up, making her look older, but making the blue in her eyes almost startling. Her lips were full and lightly glossed. She wore a black bustier and fishnets. She was extravagantly decorated with large black feathers, giving her outfit a gothic burlesque look. _Angel of death_, he thought.She stood out amongst the other strippers in thier neon thongs. Goren let his eyes follow Nicole's neck, long and creamy, she noticed his eyes languidly viewing her and took note of his obvious alcohol consumption, she spoke breaking his gaze.

"You smell like her." she smiled adding, "who is the lucky girl?"

His throat locked up. He knew the rules, they always told the truth, but he couldn't tell her it was _Eames._ She had been in danger because of him before, he wouldn't allow it again. Goren lit another cigarette. He exhaled the smoke.

"You don't know her." he said plainly.

"May I?" she motioned for a cigarette and Goren placed one on her lips, lighting it without breaking his gaze into her eyes.

"Thank you, Bobby." Nicole was quiet for a while, she also took in the sight of Goren, her eyes consuming him ravenously. She chose her words.

"Does she let you watch?" her voice was even and cool.Goren flinched, keeping his head down. She gauged his reaction, "No?..." She lowered her voice into a whisper, "Does she feed your demons?" His face tightened with fustration, she knew she had hit a nerve.

"Nicole, what about you? Does 'dancing' feed yours? You hate men so much... yet you just cant survive unless they are falling all over you. You try to derive some power, in your powerless life, from these men and their sexual urges."

"What about your sexual urges, Bobby?"

She stopped him in his tracks again. His anger burned. Nicole took the opportunity to change the subject.

"You know I haven't seen you in so long, I hardly imagined we would fall into some terrible argument about nothing, this isn't what I had in mind at all." she said coyly. Her eyes shined up at him. He was certainly a lot of man.

"What did you have in mind, we would sit here and catch up, like...friends?" Goren snapped. She was amused, sometimes he was so easily flustered. She laughed lightly behind her eyes, which she kept glued to Goren. He took another drag of his cigarette staring her down in return. She ashed hers and then slowly pulled one strap of her bustier onto her shoulder. Goren's eyes didn't budge. His thought process was slowed by the alcohol. He saw Nicole moving her chair next to the table but couldn't process her next move. She showed him. She sat on the chair with her legs tightly closed. She sat proper as a schoolgirl, and then giggled.

'Do you like my shoes, Bobby?" She stretched her leg high, placing her foot nearly inches from Goren's face, allowing him a better view of her spiked heels. His eyes traveled along her leg, stopping at her inner thighs, he returned his gaze to her powerful eyes. He didn't answer. She lowered her leg down and then slowly began sliding them apart. Goren felt like the world was on pause. Nicole had drawn him completely into her. She slid her hand in between her legs and began massaging herself through her panties, she leaned her head back and wailed breathlessly.

"Oh, Bobby..." she pressed her hand more firmly against her crotch, rubbing in hard slow circles, "...you torment me...I think about you at night...how your body would feel on mine...how good you would feel..." she slipped her hand into her panties and Goren could feel his pulse increasing, "...inside me." Her words caused his neck to turn, he ashed his cigarette and got up to leave.

"Nice meeting you, Chloe."

Nicole watched him get up to leave, still sitting in her chair, legs spread, and then moments later followed behind him, they met in the hallway just outside the club. She rushed him, craning up and pressing a light kiss on his neck, her eyes penetrated him now. Goren felt like his legs were boiled noodles, he knew he was a step slow. He smelled Nicole under his nose and then felt her lips on his. She spoke against his closed mouth.

"Take me, Bobby. I understand you." Goren dug his hands into her hips, debating whether to pull her close to push her away, she breathed against his neck and his hands found her waist, so tiny, within the corseted confines of the bustier. "I want you, I can handle it. I know what lies deep inside you...I know you need a strong woman to take it...Oh Bobby, I adore you...I would follow your every command." She paused now looking into his eyes, "...which is exactly what you want." She grabbed Goren's hand and placed it on the top of her breast, his hand instinctively kneaded the soft flesh there. "Bobby..." she pulled him closer to her, one hand still on her waist, he was succumbing, he pressed his body against hers and leaned her into the wall, Nicole gasped, Goren held his breath, she whispered in his ear "Make it hurt."

The beast stirred. He felt his groin flex and knew it was the beginning of the end. He grabbed Nicole harshly by the face. He looked into her eyes, his erection pressing against her fishnets. He searched her, grabbing her cheecks more tightly causing her to gasp. He placed his hand tightly around her neck and felt her pulse throbbing under his hand. He slammed the back of her head against the wall. He saw Nicole's eyes roll back in pleasure. He held her there, pushing the edges of her lung capacity, she couldn't breath, he bumped her head against the wall again just as her mind was dizzying and then released her, a moan escaped her beautiful lips, his hips still pressing into hers. She spoke, her breathing laboured, a devilish smile on her lips,

"Does Eames share your penchant for erotic asphyxiation?" He was taken off gaurd Nicole knew it was Eames without him telling her, it also stung Goren's heart. His mind halted. _Eames._


	6. Black and White

He looked down at the floor. He didn't know how to answer the question. Nicole spoke again,

"Oh, come on Bobby, don't ruin all the fun..." she leaned into kiss him again and Goren pushed her away, removing his body from hers, placing his hands on his hips on the other side of the hallway. She read his actions, deciding he was no longer interested in sex with her. Nicole's anger always started very deep within, it was barely detectable on the surface.

"Is this because I said the word 'Eames'?"...she ran her hand along his arm, he said nothing, "Look, she just isnt right for you...but me" her eyes sparkled, "we're two of a kind..." Goren kept his head down, hands firmly on his hips, he didn't want to take in the sight of Nicole anymore...he had almost forgotten how much he hated this woman. He scoffed when she said 'two of a kind' and her ego took a hit. She decided to stop playing nice.

"I mean, once I heard about your father...I knew it was meant to be...anyone who has killed...can see it in you...I can see it in you...you're not afraid... and thats the biggest thing." she let her words linger between them. He pressed his lips together.

"I'm not like you." the words fell out of his mouth, slow, slurred, and hampered by alcohol. He knew Nicole was only trying to manipulate him because he was weakened, the vodka plus his argument with Eames, had his mind in another place. He was more susceptible to her charms than normal, he could acknowledge that to himself. He felt stupid for getting so close to her, _I could end up with a syringe full of poison in my side_, he thought. He took another step back, keeping his distance from Nicole. He admitted to himself she was the only woman he had encountered who he felt could match both his intellect and intuition.

Nicole cocked her head again, flirtatiously, and then he realized she was mimicking his mannerisms, "Bobby, let me ask you something..." she stretched her body against the wall, spreading her legs, trying to arouse him, "do you like good girls...or bad girls?"

He smiled to himself, Eames flashed into his mind, _good girls..._

Eames walked up the darkened stairwell, to Bobby's apartment, she hoped he was home, she didn't know what she wanted to say to him, but she felt compelled to see him. She knocked lightly on the door, remembering being pressed up against it. No answer. She knocked again, more loudly, and still heard nothing. _Where could he be this late?_ Eames felt the top of the door frame for his extra key, she found it and let herself in.

Goren's apartment was small but tastefully decorated. Stacks of books sat in almost every imginable location. She stood in the middle of his living room, somehow feeling naked. She looked towards his desk, curious to the contents, she ran her fingertips along the spine of his books, taking in their titles. His reading covered everything, ranging from botany to war history to philosophy. She opened the bottom drawer, because it was the biggest, it was filled with a disarray of files. She pulled one out, it was medical information on his mother, nothing regarding her mental health, she noted. She placed the file back where she found it, she surveyed the drawer and then noticed a few black folders amongst the tan, she reached pulling the file from nearly the very bottom of the pile.

Inside she saw, drawings, made with charcoal. She wasn't surprised Goren would be interested in the arts, though his mind was very analytical. The first drawing showed women's hands and wrists, the next a collarbone and neck, they were very close detailed drawings, but still possessed an aristic character, because of the sketch like appearance created by the charcoal. _Why would he keep these in his file cabinet.._ The next drawing stared back at Eames, it took a second to process, but the drawing was of her face. She looked closely, now searching the outer edges of the paper for a signature. She found one, very small, in the upper right corner. RG. _Bobby... _she flipped to the next drawing, it was of her again, posed at her desk, Goren had taken artistic liscence with her legs and breasts, she seemed to be more fluid and curvaceous than her tight petite body in real life. _Is this how he sees me..._ Eames suddenly felt she was betraying his privacy. He never even told her that he could draw. She bit her lip, there were so many things she just didn't know about him.

She wanted to keep the drawing, but she knew well enough not to. _Where is he?_ her mind re-focused on talking to him. _What do I even have to say? Sometimes he makes me feel like I don't even know him at all. I don't even think he knows what he really wants. _She tried to empathize, realizing his childhood was hard and at least one, if not both, of his parents had been abusive. She took account of his abandonment issues, remembering the tone in his voice, when he expressed, he didn't want her to leave too. She felt by yelling at him earlier, she had contradicted a lot of the things she told him, when he said he didn't have to be normal, and she loved him and wasn't leaving..._you own me..._the thought lingered in her mind, she knew she had said it to him. She wanted to apologize, but more than that, she wanted him to explain himself, to make it all make sense to her...to open up.

Goren's pulsed raced. He eyed Nicole, taking small steps toward her, she smiled inside, feeling accomplished. She had finally gotten Bobby to come around, her face had a come hither appearance and she licked her lips, anticipating his kiss. He leaned just millimeters from her lips, she could feel his breath on her face. He smacked his hand against the wall, inches from her face, the hallway thundered, his eyes burned into hers.

"Nicole...this never happened." he walked away, not turning back, half listening for the click of her heels behind him. He heard nothing, she stood against the wall, a single tear streaked down her emotionless face.

Goren walked the streets more quickly now, feeling a burst of energy from the alcohol, he hopped a cab and was home in no time. He walked up the stairwell to his apartment, his legs still wobbly. He inserted his key into the door and turned, but the door was already unlocked. He reached to the top of the doorframe, realizing the key was missing. He drew his gun, opening the door quietly.

His eyes landed on Eames. She was sitting in the middle of his living room, in the dark. She spoke,

"Bobby, its me." her voice as shy as a little girl.

He lowered his weapon and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't speak for a moment, deciding if he should address her appearance in his apartment, he decided against it.

"Are you still upset?" he asked, knowing the question could just re-open her anger. Eames closed her eyes, not knowing what to say. Her eyelids fluttered.

"I just want to make sense of what's going on with you...I've known you for years and then sometimes I feel like I don't know you at all. I mean-you just change, you go from the sweet loving Bobby I know to...someone else."

Goren hung his head, he was in no condition for serious conversation, he knew she wanted to talk, but he couldn't, he was drained, he just wanted to sleep. Eames aimed for a different angle.

"Where have you been?" She asked, taking in the sight of his bloodshot eyes, smelling the cigarettes on his clothes and the alcohol seeping from his pores. Goren knew he couldn't answer that either, at least not truthfully, he remained silent. Eames frustration rised.

"Bobby! Answer me."

"A bar" he lied.

Eames looked into his face, they both knew he was lying. She felt shut out again. _Why can't he talk to me about anything._ She began to fume. She let her emotions get the best of her and increased the pressure.

"What are those drawings of me? What do they mean? When did you make them?"

Goren's heart began to race, he didn't know she knew about the drawings and he didn't want to explain them. He felt ashamed and embarrased. His neck twitched and he decided to keep his head down to avoid his face giving away his emotions.

"Eames, you went through my things? What else did you find? My porn collection?" he didn't have to show his face, the anger burned through his voice. Eames retorted quickly, "Do the guys in those beat the shit out of the women while they fuck them too?" she realized how mean the statement was after she said it. Goren wanted to kick her out. She had invaded his santuary, he had spent years getting comfortable in his home, it was one of the few places he felt safe. He felt like she was destroying his environment, he didn't feel safe that the things he kept in his home were still for his eyes only. Still, Eames comeback had left him with little to say.

Eames was upset, _He can't tell me where he was, what these drawings are about, whats going on with him, nothing_. She wanted to scream and beat down his emotional walls, but couldn't. Goren was also screaming on the inside, he felt a million different emotions, the alcohol, round two with Eames, and the strength it took not to give in to Nicole as well as not to beat her senseless, left him drained. He felt his mind was about to explode, his chest began heaving, and he felt like he just couldn't get enough air, no matter how hard he gasped. His hearbeat drilled into his ears, Eames words played in his mind over and over, _I love you_. He wanted to kill her, she didn't mean it, she had hit him earlier and screamed at the very thing a few days before she looked into his eyes and said she understood. He felt confused and betrayed. _She doesn't know what she wants._ The anxiety built in him, he needed to sit down, before he could make it to the couch, his legs gave out. He felt his body on the floor, but wasn't sure how he got there, he felt outside of his body, but heard himself breathing, his mind was woozy, Eames appeared in threes before him, her face hardened with concern. Her voice seemed distant.

"Bobby, oh my god, are you okay?? he felt her small hands shaking his arm. He slipped away. Hearing nothing, but his own heartbeat.


	7. The Burn

Goren's mind washed the cleanest shade of white he had ever seen.

_He was a young boy again, no more than nine, sitting next to his mother on the couch. She smoked a cigarette, staring coldly at the television screen. They stared ahead for a long time, not speaking. The air conditioner clicked on. She turned her neck towards him, speaking her eyes wide, she looked at him aghast, his mother's eyes were filled with fear. "Who are you? What are you doing in my house?" She pushed Bobby hard and he almost fell off the couch. And then her attack began, she flung her arms wildly, shoving him across the living room and out of the front door, slamming it shut in his face, the entire time screaming, "Get out, I'll call the police...what are you doing in my house??" Bobby stood facing the closed door, he was speechless. Then the door grew, towering over him, so tall he couldn't even jump to reach the doorknob. He felt so small. The doorknob began to ooze, once the liquid metallic covering the handle dripped away, a basketball hoop was revealed. Bobby stopped jumping. His teenage self thought of his father, he's not here. The thought vanished. He felt a wave of pain hit the back of his head. Shadows moved over him, he covered his face, balled into the floor, sounds flooded around him, he heard Nicole's laughter, he felt someone grab him by his hair and slam his head into the ground, claws stratched his face. He heard a snarl and felt saliva hit his face, it was the beast. He heard Eames whimper, and now he started to fight, screaming at the beast his body filled with rage. Her voice filled his thoughts but just her tones rang, her words were cryptic and indescribable, but he knew it was her. She called to him, her voice growing louder, his battle with the beast becoming more violent, Bobby's body pulsed with pain, he cried from deep within, but the sound of Eames voice drowned out his screams, he heard her now..._

"Bobby."

He opened his eyes. He saw her face coming into view over his, he was lying on the floor of his apartment. His eyes took in the sight of her, her face was soft and sincere, her eyes dimmed by concern. Her hand was holding his. He didn't know what happened.

"What happened?"

Eames dropped her eyes and squeezed his hand tight, honestly she didn't know, "...maybe you just had too much to drink." She smiled weakly. Goren didn't trust her response, something had happened. His mind reflected on the events, his mother, the door, the beast, her voice. He didn't know how to put it all together. He didn't even want to try, his head was throbbing and he felt uncomfortable on the floor, the bed called to him. He tried to get up. Eames stopped him, gripping his hand more tightly.

"Bobby...I hate to be one of those people to say this to you, but...I think you should talk to someone..." Eames held her breath, hoping he wouldn't hate her for saying it. She tried to sound as soft as possible.

Goren nodded his head, accepting she was probably right. He always promised him self if Eames ever thought he had lost it, he would pay attention, the guys at the station thinking he was a whack-job was one thing, but her opinion carried a lot of weight. He got up now, keeping her hand in his, he walked into his bedroom. He tossed some leftover books off his comforter and pulled Eames into bed with him. She fell into the mattress on her back, he lay on her side. He looked into her eyes, _I never want to hurt you again. _Eames looked back at him, sensing something desperate in his eyes, _he's sorry_ she thought. She wrapped him in her arms and Bobby lowered his head to her stomach, resting his head over her torso, she reached down running her fingers through his hair. He cupped his hands around her waist and was alseep in moments. Eames held him through the night, he never moved.

The next day at work, they took their desks across from eachother. They were experts at hiding their feelings and keeping it professional, days back at work seemed like business as usual, it was the rest of their lives they couldn't seem to get a handle on. Eames passed Goren a business card across the desks. Her voice was firm, "Call him."

Goren collected the business card, it read _Dr. George Huang_. He tapped the card on the desk, he picked up the phone, he wanted to show Eames he was serious, and surprise her a bit, hoping to get back into her good graces. The phone rang,

"I would like to make an appointment with Dr. Huang, please." a pause, "No, mam." He said nothing for a while holding the phone against his face, Eames glanced at him every few moments in anticipation. Goren smirked at her, "I'm on hold." He was playful. _I can't believe he is really going to talk to someone, I thought it would be like pulling teeth _Goren was talking on the phone again, he checked his watch, "actually that would work out perfectly. Thank you." He hung up the phone. Eames looked at him, expecting him to speak, he appeased her.

"I'm leaving in a few minutes, apparently Huang has already _heard_ about me and can see me this afternoon."

"Ah, your reputation preceeds you, Bobby." she said sarcastically, in a snooty voice. It made them both laugh, because it was so corny and unexpected. Detectives at the desks around theirs looked at them hoping to gather the joke, but Goren and Eames were the only two laughing. As their laughter trailed off, he realized how good it fel to share a joke with her, Goren began to burn her with his eyes again, he was giving her one of those looks that made her reason float away and her body feel like mush. His dark eyes began communicating, she could feel him. Eames caught her breath, putting her head down. She spoke,

"Not now."

Goren respected her wishes, leaving almost silently, to see Huang. _This should be interesting_, he thought leaving the building.

Dr. Huang's office was clean and modern, not the most inviting, but it felt sterile and uncorrupted. He was a cleanly, dressed Asian man, who also had a gift for profiling.

"Please, take a seat." Huang motioned Bobby to the couch, it was dark grey and sleek. "Tell me, what brought you here?"

Goren took a seat and coughed lightly. He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled, " Well, Eames-"

Huang cut him off, "Who is Eames?"

"My partner...but, uh, she thought I should talk to someone."

Huang smiled warmly, "Why?"

"Well, you'd have to ask her...you know...I'm not really sure why..." Goren's tone half-joking.

"Have _you_ asked her why?"

Bobby hesitated in responding, "...no."

"Do you think she is worried about you?" Huang asked, lowering his voice.

"I hope not." Goren offered.

"Are you and Eames close?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you two, _close_, for instance do you share details about your personal lives? spend time together outside of work? know eachother's families?"

Goren considered the question, "Yeah, we're close."

"Are you close with any other women in your life?"

Goren answered honestly, "No."

Eames looked across at Goren's empty desk, she missed his huge frame around the office, he had only been gone a few hours, but time when he wasn't at work with her always seemed to pass more slowly. He came sweeping through the door. Eames smiled at him.

"How did it go?"

Goren nodded his head positively and quietly stated, "good." He surpised her again, looking up at her sheepishly. "Eames, I would really like to see you after work, I know we might...need to talk." he hoped she appreciated his gentlemenly approach. She did, her voice was barely a whisper,

"Ok."

They left in seperate cars, Goren wanted some time to make sure his home was clean and anything he didn't want viewed was hidden from the prying eyes of Eames. On his drive home, Goren reflected on his session with Huang, he liked him, he asked the right questions in a non-threatening way, but then Goren mused _but thats what hes paid to do._

Huang spoke, "Do you like women?"

Goren twitched his neck, suggestively answering and chuckling to himself, "yeah...I like women." Eames nude body flashed across his mind. Huang interrupted.

"When I asked you if you liked women, you took it to something sexual. Why? As a man who just admitted to not being close with many women, it could naturally be the next question, if you even like women."

Goren didn't have anything to say. Huang spoke again, "Are you sexually active?" Goren felt himself locking up. He didn't want to do this. He figured he could sit in silence or change the subject. He decided on the first. He didn't speak the rest of the session, Huang sat comfortably across from him, willing to listen. Bobby was frozen.

Goren heard her familiar knock at the door. He opened it smiling at Eames, he stopped. She looked beautiful. She hadn't done anything particular but her skin was shining. _She was happy._Goren had pleased her going to talk to Huang and she felt things could be moving in the right direction.

She settled into his couch and he joined her, they sat laughing at commercials and talking about television shows, favorite childhood cartoons, hidden talents, all the things they couldn't pick up at work. Eames was beaming. Time pressed on and soon it was late, the television was failing to hold their attention, Eames wanted to kiss him. She cuddled under his armpit and leaned her neck to place a kiss on his cheek. He smiled. She placed another and then another, kissing a slow trail to his lips. He anticipated the connection. Her mouth felt like fire, her lips smooth and tiny. He brought her closer to his body. She kissed him now with more passion, her kisses folding into his, she let out a small moan, low and pleasing and Goren felt a tingle run through him in response. He kissed her now more deeply running his hand over her breast, he groaned, she felt so soft under his hand. Eames pulled her hands through his hair, she felt every nerve in her body on edge, his erection throbbed, heavy between his thighs. Eames pulled away. She got up, standing a few paces in front of Bobby, her face flushed with desire. She pulled her shirt over her head and slowly undid her bra from the back, letting it hang several long moments before dropping it to the floor. _He likes to watch..._Bobby's eyes devoured her. Eames pulled off her pants and stood before him, topless and in small black panties. She let her hands trace her breasts and gently toy with her nipples. Goren felt his manhood recieve an extra jolt, he was hard as stone. His eyes moving rapidly, consuming her. His breathing increased as she shook her breasts gently and let out a small moan, she pressed her breasts together and leaned forward to give him a better view. His voiced cracked. No more thinking.

"Take off the panties."

Eames did and without being told, laid on the floor and spread her legs, using her fingers to hold open her folds for Bobby to see. She undulated her hips, and pushed her hand in soft cirlces over her clit. Goren felt like an avalanche had unleashed inside of him, his heart pummeled in his chest, his mouth was dry, he couldn't even remember the last time he blinked. His entire body was on the edge. Eames moved her hand faster now, moaning as if she was nearing orgasm. He couldn't take it. His insides broke into a thousand pieces. He was on the floor and upon Eames, crashing his lips into hers, kissing her with abandon. He held her tightly, wrapping his arm firmly around the back of her waist, he lined his raging member up with her, the top half of him nearly drenched in pre-cum. His voice was shaky, she felt him trembling from within, he used the words he could manage, "Can I?" She knew what he meant, her mind was spinning she could barely think, his desire was overwhelming. She gave in. Nodding her head. He slashed into her with one violent stroke, her scream caught by his lips. Bobby grabbed her wrists, placing them over her head, pinning her to the floor. He tilted her hips upwards with his body weight and then gritted his teeth, pushing into her as deep as he could manage, then holding his position there, applying harder and harder pressure into her body, though she was already stuffed by him. He pushed until it hurt him as well and then would pull back, moaning with pleasure. His skin was building heat, Eames body was glistening with sweat, his deep almost motionless grinding into her was pushing her endurance, and opening her to new feelings. Bobby grabbed her roughly, turning her body over with a grunt, he lifted her hips putting her into position. She knew what was coming. He felt as if he had got a running start, he pounded into her from the back so hard, she felt pain in her lower back. She remained nearly silent. He gripped her waist, pumping his length into her and for the first time he felt her vagina spasming around him. He knew the sensation but not with Eames, she suddenly became extra wet and her muscles limp, she didn't make a sound, he leaned into her, whispering in her ear. "Did you just come?" He looked at her skin, now flushed pink and knew the answer already. He growled now pumping with fury. "Good girl." Eames shame was pushed away as she felt her heart go weak, Bobby thrust into her with so much force, she couldn't think. She felt the impact of his body between her thighs. His words played in her mind again and again, _good girl_. Bobby pulled back, snatching himself from her, she knew he didn't come, she wondered what was going on, she writhed her hips, but he held a tight grip on her waist, she waited to feel his body on hers, but felt nothing, just his hand around her waist, and then, her body blazed with pain, she couldn't speak or make any type of thoughts, the sensation ripped through her body, a cry caught in her throat, Bobby thrashed hard into her other hole, she had never been penetrated there. Bobby's moans were overpowering, his entire body trembled and he grabbed her hair so tightly her scalp burned. The pain was overwhelming, the words dropped out her mouth in a cough, barely audible. "Thank you." Her eyes filled with tears. The words cracked the remainder of his control and she was out of herself finally, Bobby's arms around her seemed to ease the pain, but he was merciless in his stroke, pulling her ass cheeks roughly, blood streaking across his member as he withdrew from her before shoving even harder back in, he was in another world. His breathing was ragged, wrestling with the moans and sobs that attempted to escape his throat all at the same time. He couldn't breath. He slammed into her asshole, crying out. His cries were matched by Eames who was sobbing now, her body shaking with pain and confusion. Goren pulled her hair hard, pulling her neck back, to place kisses on it. His mouth open against her neck as he came, sobbing, his body ripped from consciousness into ectasy and back. He pulled out of her quickly, not wanting to prolong her pain, but rolled over grabbing her tightly, pressing his body into hers. He didn't want to risk either one of them leaving. His whispered into her ear sweetly, "Are you okay?" Eames nodded her head and rolled into Bobby, she didnt want him to see her.

Also, I want to thank everyone for their comments. I don't know how to comment back so that's why I haven't said anything. I am enjoying writing this story and hope to finish this weekend. Also, I do read the comments everyday and take them into account when creating the next chapters...for the record I never intended to keep nicole or pair bobby and nicole, she served to provide bobby with insight and indirectly point him in the right direction...i hate her as much as everyone else...but thank you again, especially metisse, leaveit, cifan, and triggerhappyworld


	8. Pumps

She didn't know what to say to him. She felt filthy inside. Her asshole was raw and possibly bleeding and she was beginning to believe she was with a man who felt he could do whatever he wanted to her, whenever he wanted. She felt powerless. She hated it. She wanted to kick Goren in his nuts. But on the other hand...it was her own doing. She wanted to burst into tears. She wanted to...she wanted to...Eames wanted to scream out in frusteration. Bobby's hands felt so good on her body, she could feel him focusing on her, his mind working to figure out where her head was at. She wanted to talk to him about it. She didn't know what to say. She felt shame_...thank you_...the words burned her mouth, she hated herself, she wondered where it came from, how could she orgasm and then say _that_, while he was in _there_..._thank you_...she had no idea where it came from, she felt like a pervert, or a brainwashed woman who succumb to the desires of her manipulative lover. _Bobby is manipulative _she thought, she had witnessed him turn the minds of killers and crooks inside out, appealing to their desires, leaning on his understanding of human nature, the pathologies he created almost effortlessly for almost every criminal he came into contact with, he knew so much, he knew why everyone did everything, but couldn't seem to explain why he did anything. Eames rolled her eyes, _bullshit. Robert Goren is tricking the world, he knows exactly what he's up to.. _She curled herself in a ball away from Goren, he didn't know how to respond, he felt her emotionally withdraw... he didn't want to push. He let Eames fall asleep and he tried to lay awake thinking, but his orgasm exhausted him, they fell asleep, laying on opposite sides of the bed, Eames began to twitch in her sleep.

_Eames was chained to the floor, she felt afraid, her pulse droning. There was nothing, no voices, no objects, no people, just Eames, the chains, and the floor. The she heard footsteps, heavy but smooth. She smelled him. It was Bobby. He looked down at her, his face smiling something sinister, his eyes were black. She tried to call out to him, but when she opened her throat no sound came out, she felt deaf, feeling her body heaving and the air leaving her lungs as she tried to scream but only hearing silence. She began to panic. Then her father appeared, standing next to Bobby. Both men loomed over her laughing as she tried to break free of the chains. Her dad slapped Bobby on the back in a friendly manner and then Goren looked at her, his eyes penetrating. She couldn't figure out what he was trying to communicate, she tried to focus, but she was distracted, water trickled down her thighs, increasing the amount of fluid as time progressed, she became aware of her stomach, it was huge. She realized her water had just broke. She heard the baby screaming from inside her stomach, she heard Goren's voice in the distance telling her to push and breathe. Am I giving birth? she thought. The infant's squeals were blood-curtling, her heart began to race, is something wrong with the baby? _

She awoke in a sweat, Bobby's eyes looking at her through the darkness concerned. He didn't speak, Eames realized she had sweated through her hair and her side of the bed, the nightmare claiming her in her sleep. Goren lay next to her, looking at her figure, her dampened hair. He spoke,

"I know how it is. You have to just...let it go."

Eames said nothing, bad dreams weren't anything she wasn't accustomed to. She stared at the ceiling. She heard his voice.

"Don't blame yourself for not telling anyone..."

Eames took a moment to consider what he was saying. It clearly wasn't related to her nightmare...his tone, it reminded her of the way he spoke to suspects, even but prying, appealing to the persons nature. She didn't want to speak. He continued,

"he's your dad, hes not supposed to do stuff like that..." Eames shoved Bobby across the mattress in a flash. She felt her body react before her mind could even respond. She pushed him hard. Her voice was cold in the darkness.

"No."

Goren was leaning on his side, knocked back, keeping his eyes down towards the mattress, Eames sat up on her knees across from him, she was fuming.

He added, his voice still cool, "It's the only explanation...I mean-you thanked me tonight" his voice lowered, "but your so ashamed, you couldn't let me know I made you come...someone had to _put_ that shame in you, someone you trusted, or respected, or...loved.."

Eames felt her chin shrivel as the tears met the edges of her eyes. She hated Bobby. He went on, "Eames-"

She cut him off. "No, Bobby! I'm not one of them, I-I'm not a suspect...or a witness ..or...or a puzzle." Her face was red and streaked with tears. Goren was taken aback by her words. He regretted telling her he knew as opposed to letting her tell him when she felt comfortable.

"I'm sorry" He said it so quickly, she didn't believe him.

He had put his foot in his mouth, about something so serious, he really just wanted to communicate to Eames that it wasn't her fault, and if she let go she would be free to be herself in every capacity. Somehow he had totally pissed her off. He grabbed her in his arms before she could push him away, holding her tight, not saying anything. She felt hard as stone, distant and cold. He just held her, imagining himself warming her up, soothing it all away. He held her. Eames broke. She choked back her tears, mushing her face into Bobby's chest. He carressed her softly. She couldn't bring herself to say the words, she never said the words, but she knew he knew, that was enough. They layed back down on the bed, after Eames tears had subsided. Goren asked softly,

"What could we do tomorrow that would make you feel better?" Trying to slowly lighten the mood before they went back to sleep. He was surprised by her answer, she spoke quietly with a small smile on her face, "Let's go shopping." They closed their eyes and fell asleep.

The next day at the mall, Goren felt paranoid in the parking lot, Eames pulled in front of Macy's and parked. He took a deep breath, this was different. They were out today but not for a case or an assignment, but for pleasure. Goren wore his staple casual black t-shirt and jeans and Eames looked clean but relaxed in a gray sweater and jeans. Her hair was wavier than usual, he noticed, and he liked it.

Goren and Eames walked the mall corrider looking in the storefronts. She debated upon holding his hand, but decided against it, it just didn't seem like them. She smiled at him and when she looked up she saw something in his eyes that made her heart melt. His eyes were smoldering but bright, his lips lightly pursed, he craned his neck and then leaned into her playfully, whispering in her ear, "Let's stop in there." Goren pointed his long arm across her body, his bicep brushing her breast. She felt flutter in her stomach.

"The ladies shoe store?" she laughed

"Yeah" he smiled and then added, leaning into her ear, "I want to get you something."

Eames felt heart rate increase, Bobby wanted to buy her something. She admitted to herself, she felt special, and it was so unexpected. He surprised her again, grabbing her hand and walking her into the store. He swooped behind her and put his hands on her waist, he leaned in again, "Pick out the ones that make you feel the _sexiest_." His voice sultry.His words sent a flush of heat up her neck, she hadn't expected him to be so forward. He took a seat in a chair and watched Eames scan the selection of shoes. She had never been in this shoe store before but realized the shoes were italian made and the prices were high. She saw a pair of Versace heels, a beautiful black pump, but too high for the office she decided. Then she remembered, Bobby said the _sexiest..._ She felt his eyes on her intensely, he was enjoying watching her decide she could almost feel him picking apart her thought process.

Then she spotted them, a pair of blood red patent leather pumps, round toe, with silver spike heels and a silver link ankle chains. They were incredibly high. She felt as if she could hear Bobby's heart from across the room. She picked up the shoes, looked at the price 300, and then looked at Bobby.

"This is just too much...300..."

He cut her off.

"I'm getting them..." he cleared his throat, "I want to see you in these." his eyes low, he always had a way of appearing sheepish, even if he really wasn't. Eames smirked to herself.

Once they returned to Eames house, she made Bobby dinner. Cooking steaks and small red potatoes. Goren was starving and the meal smelled fantastic, the aroma wafted around the apartment, it felt like home. Eames set up the plates in the kitchen and ran back into her bedroom. She pulled out the shoes, putting them on her feet. Goren was right, she did feel incredibly sexy. She removed her jeans and sweater and replaced them with a lacy black bra and panties set. She looked at herself in her bedroom mirror. Her legs felt like noodles and her insides were shaking, she suddenly felt nervous about how Bobby would react. The night before had been emotional, but he hadn't said anything else about it. Knowing he knew her secret, made her feel vulnerable, naked with her clothes on, and Goren's lack of further communication on the issue was hard to interpert. Was it discomfort? sympathy? She took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts from her mind. He had let her in. She wanted to show him, she was the right woman for him. She wanted to fulfill his deepest needs. She knew this was serious. Eames exited her room, stomach full of butterflies, and picked up the plates and brought them to Goren at the table, strutting in her heels. His throat caught. He felt himself stretch into an erection at the sight of her unexpected wardrobe switch. She placed his plate in front of him and hers across the table. She looked into his eyes, her voice flirtatious, "Can I get you anything else, sir?"

He was pleased with her creativity and playfulness, as well as her desire to arouse him. He was starting to realize, he enjoyed her as a lover, and despite everything, she had been able to handle him and was still around. Things weren't perfect, but she hadn't jumped ship. He realized their bond was building on another level. An emotion he couldn't identify stirred in him and he felt as if Eames had cast a spell on him, he was intoxicated, his eyes devoured her legs, the position of her delicate ankles in the pumps he bought her. He knew the heels appealed to the animal alpha-male in him. _Heels make a woman look off balance..vulnerable..it creates a sexual charge_, he mused explaining his reaction to himself, then he caught sight of her breasts in her bra, he held his breath.

Goren grabbed her arm, his face serious, then he hung his head slightly and put his hand over her breast, massaging. Eames stood there, slightly uncomfortable. Feeling even more naked than before.Then his hand increased its grip on her breast, adding more pressure, he reached over the fabric of her bra and pulled out one breast. The air felt cold across her skin and she caught goosebumps. Bobby's mouth warmed her up, as he bagan an oral assault on her breast and nipple. Eames felt herself moistening, he was devouring, her nipple inbetween his teeth. His tongue lapping Eames skin. She let out a moan and he reached up, grabbing her throat, he slapped her bare breast hard. Eames gasped. He hit her again, and again and again. Her breast was stinging and then the sensation deepened, he pinched her nipples so hard it made her squirm but when he released she felt a wave of pleasure. He shook her breast in his hand, smacking it repeatedly and then he pulled away, his breathing heavy. He looked down at his plate. And then started eating, Eames stood before him feeling akward and then, took her cue and went to her plate as well. When she reached to put her breast back in her bra she heard Bobby's voice,

"Don't"

So she didn't, finishing her meal with her smacked red breast exposed. Her mind raced as she concentrated on her plate, enable to make eye contact with Bobby, and unable to taste her food. She felt like she was in another place. She realized Bobby had been able to tap into a part of herself that she hadn't even known existed. His years of watching her, analyzing her thoughts and reactions, piecing together the bits of information he complied, had somehow brought them to a place were she felt he was inside her brain. She knew she couldn't hide from him, she realized her nakedness, was her own vulnerablility. The vulnerablility Bobby causes, her heart pounded. _This man..._she thought. He looked up at her from the other side of the table, his eyes dark, playful, and desirous. He smiled his small smile and she felt her heart flutter. He had that _something..._she loved him. She knew it then, like she had never known it before, she knew no other man could bring this out in her, open her up, tear her insides apart, trying to free her, she knew _his mind, they way it worked_...she realized she was using his own words, the things he had told her coming full circle. This wasn't about violence, this was about intensity, power, experience, release, and the deepest connection and level of trust that either one of them would encounter. She suddenly felt brave, embolded by her realization. It clicked.

She met Bobby eyes and he felt a jolt by what he saw in them. He didn't touch her again that night and Eames felt like her body was screaming for him. They got into bed and she remained dressed in her heels and lingirie, her breast still free. She felt kinky laying in the bed with him, dressed that way, but she didn't push him to respond, he seemed _distant. _She went to sleep, frusterated, but accepting his actions, she knew he had to know what he was doing and why, even if it wasn't immediately clear to her right then. She awoke a few hours later, to the sound of Bobby panting, his hand moving rapidly under the covers. She didn't move, not wanting him to know she was awake, she wanted to see what he did, when he felt she wasn't aware. She heard him stifle his groan, burying his face in the pillow, his hand pumping harder with more pressure. He groaned softly, his body pressing hard into the mattress, his breath shaky and then she heard him in the softest whimper, say her name. "Alex", he released. Eames was stunned...he NEVER called her _Alex. _She didn't know what to make of the event. He almost immediately fell back asleep and Eames lay awake, her mind turning, he sounded so tender, like a younger, softer, man. The sound of his orgasm and her name falling out his lips, made her want him more, but she knew, if he wanted her, he would take her. She forced her body back to sleep.

She awoke again, this time unsure of what time it was, but the sun wasn't up. Bobby was harshly grabbing her thighs, his eyes closed. She felt his body weight upon her, he was heaving and all of his skin felt hot. His erection was pounding against Eames navel. His hand met her still bare but now sore breast and began massaging. He was practically silent, but his arousal was deafening, she could feel him trembling, she had never seen him like this. His free hand reached down pulling her panties, down and off, his eyes taking in once more the sight of her blood red pumps. He was upon her with so much force it startled her, he roughly entered her, his body spasming at the contact, Eames was now fully awake, and surprised by Bobby's actions. He stroked more tenderly now, than at any time before, his solid frame shaking as he pushed and pulled his manhood inside of her, she purposely began to tighten herself when he stroked, clenching her muscles to his rhythm. He remained very quiet, stroking passionately but with restraint, pulling Eames closer to him as he pumped.Goren's mind was compeletly focused on her sensation. He listened to her breathing and forced himself to attempt to gently bringing her to orgasm. His body felt wound tight, he held his breath, trying not to lose control. He felt her clenching muscles pulsing around him, driving him closer, his strokes sending ringing vibrations through his body. Eames wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him deeper, she felt her insides stretch, burning with pain from his size and unexpected entry. Bobby buried himself deeper within in, still silent. Eames only heard her own heavy pants, she felt as if he were a million miles away, she ran her fingers along his back, pulling him closer. She spoke, her voice husky in his ear,

"Bobby, stay with me."

She didn't want him to withdraw. He thought to himself, _what is she talking about? I would never leave _his body began to seize with pleasure, as he was coming dangerously close to orgasm. He clenched his jaws trying not to moan. His silence was beginning to worry Eames as he thrust now with more force, pressure building between them. His head buried next to her face, his body slick with sweat, she tightened her grip around him and began to moan, feeling her muscles wind towards climax, Bobby's instincts kicked in and he pounded her, sending waves of unbearable pressure through her cervix, Eames threw her head back and wailed, digging her nails into Bobby's back, her shaking thighs clenched around him, his animal side fully unleashed and Bobby began to grunt, deep and heavy, matching his thrusts. The extra lubrication provided by Eames orgasm undid his control. He grabbed lightly on the base of her neck and stroked with passionate force, more tender now then when he was bringing her to climax. His body began to tremble again and Eames heard his grunts turn into something closer to whimpers. His neck was moving wildly, his face buried into her hair, his body moist and clapping against hers. His hands wrapped down and around to her ass. He gripped her slick skin and pulled her close to him and deeper on his cock. He surprised her, turning over, and holding her cheeks. She was stradling him, gravity pulling her deeper onto him, Eames again felt naked, she was on top. She became aware of her bare breast again, and so did Bobby, he hand immediately, grabbed it, massaging her lovingly, cupping her tenderly in his hand. Eames placed her hand over his on her breast and began to raise and lower herself over him, simultaneously clenching her muslces along his length. She could finally see his face. He was filled with pleasure, she was taken back. His face was flushed and his mouth open, eyes rolled deep into the back of his head, he made cooing whimpering sounds now like a baby and Eames realized his grip on her hips had tightened and he was thrusting now with more speed. He pumped deep while pulling her up by her hips, increasing the force of when they meet, each time trying to fill her more. He hated the sounds he was making, but he was out of control, he pumped erraticaly now, the orgasm claiming him, he threw his head backwards and pushed her down as deep as he could, Eames wailed at his reaction, seeing him filled with pleasure, she felt a rush. Bobby's orgasm came with a desperate wail, almost pleading, "Aleeeexxxx" he exploded inside of her, feeling himself contract more times than he could count, emptying himself deep into her.

sorry its a kinda random place to stop, but I wanted to at least post something since its been a while (Sorry I had midterms) thanks to RhondaG for the extra concern, very sweet. I have a good idea in what direction I'm going to take this, just need to actually write it all out, but I want to conclude the story all together, sometime this weekend (for real this time) because I have another idea for another story...thanks again everyone for reading


	9. Movies

Not that they were keeping score. But if last night was a match...Alex won. Goren shook off the memories from the night before when Eames had him weaker than a sixteen year old boy. He knew she felt the power. Women always did. He sucked his teeth, feeling slightly defeated. But it was nature. Women held the power in thier wombs, Goren knew it, every man knew it, women really do run the world. That's why men couldn't retain their masuclinity during orgasm without somehow feeling he had defiled the woman. He held his breath waiting for Eames to arrive at work. She came in, just as the thought crossed his mind, an extra bounce in her step and an extra closeness in her skirt. She wore black today, head to toe, deep v-neck long sleeve and tight skirt that stopped just below the knees. Goren mused she must have dug the black pumps from deep in her closet because he had never seen them before. Sex was in her aura. She looked like a new woman. Goren's mouth went dry.

"Morning, Eames."

She flipped her hair, softly, her voice in a light purr, "Hey, Bobby." Her voice was familiar, yet so flippant and casual...he suddenly felt like he didn't know her at all. She smelled like something new, he caught it immediately and the question left his lips without thinking,

"New perfume?" he fidgeted with the files on his desk akwardly. Eames smirked to herself.

"Yes." They met eachothers eyes and locked, a wave of heat passed from her to him. Goren waited on her to answer..to follow up. She didn't. More silence, then with an akward snort/laugh.

"Well....what kind?"

Eames, snapped out of her mini-trance. Blushing now.

"Oh..its by Tom Ford, its called Black Orchid."

Goren smiled pleased, the aroma was unique, multi-layered, a more complex scent than her usual. He mentally tried to see how many of the smells he could isolate and name. He always gave himself these mental tests...to stay sharp, and scents could be considered his speciality. But she distracted him, hanging up the phone, he hadn't even heard ring...lost thinking about her perfume.

"A young woman is here, she says she has some information on a mob murder."

"And she just comes forward?" Goren raised his eyebrows. Eames deadpanned in her husky voice,

"Guess she's playing good samaritan."

They entered the large dark gray interrogation room. A young woman with long nearly black hair and pale skin sat at the table. In situations like these, he usually let Eames field the preliminary questions, while he watched and waited, picking up on the persons ticks and trying to gauge their thought process, slipping through them with his intution. Then when he felt that...something...heard that small phrase that just didn't fit..the one hair out of place, he would act, apply the pressure, get into their heads and draw out the truth. He sat quietly watching the girl, her face was pretty, slim nose, full lips, huge blue eyes, hints of dimples in her cheeks..all of this hidden under goth makeup, that made her skin seem even paler and her eyes dark. Every few seconds she would look up and catch Goren's eyes. Eames spoke,

"So...Gia Gallo...you have some information we might be interested in."

"Yeah, my ex...I think he hurt that college girl they been talkin bout all over the news." Her voice was heavy with a Jersey accent.

Goren surveyed her clothing, tight ripped black jeans, combat boots, close black leather jacket and black lacy bustier underneath. His neck ticked, somebody wants to look like a bad girl. He thought to himself.

"This ex have a name?" Eames pressed.

"Yeah...Justin Gussini."

Goren decided to interject. "And you're sure he had something to do with that...that-girl on the television?" his tone raising and lowering as he spoke, head bobbing slightly. Gia's eyes met his at the sound of his voice finally, peircing him with a look of desire so apparent, even Eames could see it.

"Yeah, why?" her eyes flashed something dark, "you don't believe me?" her tone softly sexual.

Goren rested back in his seat, looking down, prentending to flip through his files as he so often did, to disorient people, giving them multiple things to focus on. "No, no -Gia- its not that, I mean....it's just-you come in here-" his sentence was cut off by the look Eames was shooting Gia, it was a mixture of disgust and disbelief. Her face was beginning to flush, he moved more quickly, _bad girls like to smoke._

"You know what-Gia- you're not a suspect, we don't have to stay in here," he motioned around the room with his long finger quickly, "come outside with me, you know- i'm just dying for a cigarette."

Eames didn't know how to react, she didn't know Bobby had starting smoking again, and this was definitely unusual for him to step outside with anyone. They exited the room and Goren's eyes softly met Eames as he and Gia brushed past her.

They walked outside into the brisk air, lighting their cigarettes, Goren decided to level with the young woman.

"Look. I know you're probably mad at you're ex - but, pinning a murder on him...it's not the best idea for payback." Goren shook his head.

Gia looked down at her combat boots, realizing the detectives didn't believe her for a second. She looked up at Goren again, the intensity of their eyes met.

"Is that ballarina up there, your girlfriend?" referring to Eames, looking at him harder now.

"No. We- we just work together. But-uh- she's no ballerina...don't be fooled." he laughed lightly.

Gia was beautiful in a dark way. Goren realized that may have affected his decision making in giving her the easy way out of her lie.

"Well, this boyfriend...musta really pissed you off." his curiousity still burned for the truth.

Silence and then. "Yeah, but he was young...I think I need a man." She looked up at Goren again, this time making her intentions clear. It was then Goren realized if sex was in Eames aura, it had to be in his as well, these types of girls never approached him before, for a moment he prayed it wasn't obvious he had recently become a dominating lover, but then he remembered the last time he had sex, he felt it was Eames who had all the control, he rarely let women ride him, but she brought him to powerful climax grinding into his hips.

Goren knew he had to let the moment pass. Gia was beautiful, but his mind was already on other things, he leveled with her again.

"Look. I'm gonna go inside, you go home, get some rest, and forget about this knucklehead, and if you ever have some real information, come back, ok?" He had tried to be as nice as possible, Gia rolled her eyes and huffed under her breath, "Well, maybe I shouldn't be fooled by the ballerina." and walked off, combat boots stomping down the sidewalk. Goren flicked his cigarette away and turned back inside.

Eames wasn't at her desk, he walked back to the interrogation room to find her leaning on the table, eyes a million miles way in thought. He softly closed the door behind him and her head turned to look at him, he couldn't identify what was in her eyes, he edged closer to her, neither one of them speaking, and then with a soft gesture, turned her around and pressed her against his body, his breath was shallow as he breathed into her ear. His grip tightened on her hips, his fingers quietly mauling her sides. Her heart fluttered...they were _at work. _She knew they couldn't see if someone could see them from the other side of the mirror, or if the door was suddenly going to fling open. He placed his foot between her heels and nudged each side, having her stand against him with her legs farther apart. He pushed them forward with his body weight and they walked their bodies still glued together until, her face was millimeters from the mirror. Her heartrate increased three fold, _was someone on the other side? _She tried to strain her eyes to see, but only saw her own reflection and Bobby over her shoulder, his face now flushed. Goren gripped her wrists, clamping them together and raised her arms over her head, planting her palms on the mirror. He leaned in, his voice low and his breath smelling like coffee and him, "Don't move." He rushed back from her, and Eames felt that feeling again, naked with her clothes on. He looked her up and down standing a few steps back from her his eyes intense, her posture seemed to beckon him. Then he clicked his teeth and shook his head, Eames felt a small rush of panic that she had done something wrong or something had changed. He spoke again, bringing his body back to hers, Eames folded at the contact, his hand covered hers on the mirror, "These are not right."

For a second, she didn't know what he was talking about, but felt him use his foot to nudge her shoes again. She leaned her forehead against the mirror, realizing her face was flushed and her forehead was slick. Bobby wrapped her hand around her waist and pulled her close, with more force. She spoke, her voice a small tremble, with uncertainty and a newfound rush.

"I'm sorry...my red ones that you like are too high for work." The silence was intense as he said nothing and continued pressing into her, she only heard the sounds of her light panting and his hushed breathing. The scent of her perfume found its way into his senses, he fought every urge to snap.

Then Goren scared her, slapping his hand against the mirror so hard the frame shook and she let out a gasp of surprise. His breathing was ragged and she felt his erection forming, pushing into her back. His voice was a growl.

"_Your_ red ones?" he asked. She didn't know what to say. Time seemed to be flying in a panic, the room was swimming, she knew the whole office probably heard Goren slam his hand against the mirror. He picked up on her thoughts, he knew they had to leave this room soon, he was playing roulette, his heart pumped, he grabbed Eames harshly by the neck, applying pressure to the right spots to constrict her oxygen. She felt her face rush with sensation, feeling her body growing tighter from the inside as her lungs begged for air. Goren whispered in her ear, as the lack of air became more uncomfortable.

"I bought those shoes, they are _my_ shoes" he snatched hard at her neck ".....I just am nice enough to let you wear them." his other hand reached down, pulled up her skirt roughly, and he began grabbing her thighs and butt in harsh handfuls. His body tense and his breathing laboured. Eames still couldn't breathe, she felt seconds from fainting, her body growing weak, Bobby supported her weight, by pushing her up against the mirror, he gave one more harsh pull at her throat and then released her, the oxygen hitting Eames all at once, gave her a sort of natural high, and she heard his words through the white that had overtaken her vision, his voice was husky and full of desire, his hands felt like fire on her bare skin.

"...Alex, "something about the way he said Alex was _nasty_ and she was surprised he wasn't referring to her as Eames, "I'm your Daddy now." and with that he released her and left the room.

The air felt cold exiting and Goren did his best to use his jacket to hide his erection. Eames stayed in the interrogation room, her insides shaking. She knew he knew her secret...._why would he say something like that? _Somewhere within she felt a little betrayed, he hadn't said anything else about it, and now instead of something she would've...expected...he came to her with this...he wants to be her...or her to refer to him as..her _daddy_. She felt like she was in shock internally, she could still feel her throat stinging.

Goren felt like a man on edge, his desire only increasing since he left the interrogation room. The thoughts of their sex from the night before drove him, she had ripped him out of his body, the pleasure overwhelming, his composure was shot. He wanted to make up for it. Claim her, in a way he never had before, have her scream his name so loud it blotted from her mind, the memory of him writhing and bucking underneath her like some sort of infantile and inadequate lover. Desire surged through him, building heat all day. Eames face seemed distant the rest of the day but Goren knew better than to focus on it, things between them always ended up resolved. He watched her his mind crafting all the possible ways to satisfy his need for her, the more intense his need grew the dirtier his thoughts became and the nastier his thoughs the greater the need, by the time they decided to head home for the evening, he was lightening in a bottle. His eyes met Eames as she put on her coat, hiding her svelte figure draped in black under the heavy fabric.

"Movie?" he spoke.

Eames looked confused, "Huh?"

"Do you want to see a movie, tonight? There is a free theater downtown, it plays some of the films the art students at Cooper Union create....some of them aren't half bad."

Eames felt herself lighten a bit, he wanted to go on a _date._ Other than their breif stint at the mall, they hadn't done much other than work and see eachother at one of their homes after. She knew Bobby was a homebody, so she didn't mind, but him wanting to go out made her happy. She nodded her head affirmatively.

The theater was smaller than she expected and dark, maybe twenty people littered the space and the lights were dim, the film hadn't started yet. She whispered,

"What is it supposed to be about?" a small smile on her face.

Goren fumbled for the pamphlet they were handed as they entered the theater, he squinted his eyes trying to read in the dark. "Uh- looks like the film is about 'the material and the immeterial, real and unreal, meaning and meaningless, a series of shorts to explore these concepts'.." he quoted the pamphlet, feigning his voice to sound like a stereotypical avant-garde art elitest. Eames smiled softly and placed her arm, into Goren's, they walked up the aisles, looking for a seat, arms locked. He felt unsteadied by her touch. Her perfume hit him in a rush again as she was now closer to him than she had been in hours, re-igniting his desires from earlier. His eyes darkened.

"We should probably sit in the back...." he suddenly looked shy in the dim theater, "sometimes people can't see behind me."

She nodded and they walked to the very last row, looking like a _real _couple, for once. Both of them suppressed small feelings of excitement. They took their seats, the theater darkened seconds later and a black and white artsy flick began to play. Goren seemed entraced by the film, she realized his intelligence was complex and something like this..he may be able to connect to it in a way most people couldn't. Eames tried, but the film just felt a few inches over her head.

Then she saw him slowly turn his neck towards her in her peripherial. His gaze was intense and she felt that light-headed feeling again. Goren reached up tucking a bit of hair behind her ears, his fingertips brushing against her cheek, but he kept his hand in her hair and pulled gently, tipping her head back to recieve his kisses. His lips tasted hers, his mouth began to quiver and he swept up more of her hair in his hands, his lips roaming hers, his breath in her mouth. Eames whimpered gently against his lips and he gripped enough of her hair to control her movements, he pulled hard and kissed her with a passion that made her feel like he had swept himself through her entire body. Then he pulled her lips from his, fighting to catch his breath, he applied a rush of pressure pushing her head down, Eames felt her body bend and saw him stretching his legs wider in his seat, Goren wrangled her neck until she followed the direction of his pressure and she was on her knees in the movie theater, in between his legs.

His hands lightly cupped her cheek and his eyes met hers, the forces of nature brewing behind them, light flashing on his face from the movie screen, she suddenly felt glad they sat in the back, but her thoughts were cut short, Bobby smashed the side of her face down by the cheek he was just so tenderly cupping and her face was mushed into his slacks, his manhood was pulsing and thick against her. He pushed her harder into his crotch, Eames exhaled hard but silently, and the breath traveled through his slacks causing a warmth around his sack, his body was burning now, he held her face in between his legs, until he felt his hands stop trembling. He wouldn't let her see him come undone again, he needed to be strong for her at all times, he knew that better than she did.

Goren nearly held his breath, running his fingers through her soft golden hair, he closed his eyes now and slowly unzipped his pants, releasing some of the pressure constricting his erection. He leaned down and ran his hand inside her coat, rubbing her breasts, grabbing them roughly, motioning hard circles, his and her breathing increased. He couldn't take it, _the beast was stirring_, he had a faint thought this wasn't the right place for this but it faded as he freed himself from his boxers, the air cool on his hot stretched skin. He didn't wait another second. He grabbed Eames by her hair and pushed himself into her mouth. Her lips sent a rush through him, the heat of her mouth encircled him. He opened his eyes to ensure no one could see what they were doing. He didn't see anyone turning around, he closed his eyes again and thrust into her throat, gritting his teeth. He knew he couldn't make her choke, people would hear. _The beast wanted more. _He knew the sound would be decreased if he moved more slowly. He tried to regain some control. He gripped more of her hair to obtain greater control of her movements. He slid her mouth up and down his lengths, toturously slow, feeling like their movements had also slowed all time around them, Eames tongue worked applying pressure, focusing on Bobby's head, but he controlled how fast and how deep he went into her mouth. Each stroke he worked himself deeper within. Moving with harsh slowness, Goren felt his orgasm building from deep inside, his thighs trembling. He opened his eyes checking to see if they were still unnoticed and to momentarily get enough control to still his body. He couldn't fall apart, though his heart was banging and he felt moments from orgasm. He slid back into her mouth again, slower than at any time before, grabbing her hair so tightly now, Eames was afraid, he slid her down deeper than she had ever been, her stomach began to heave as she gagged, but his pace was giving her time to adjust, when she thought he was going to release her up, he kept pushing down, his legs now visibly shaking. Goren leaned over her, his body buckling from the sensation of his testicles pressed against her chin, she had taken all of him, he reached down carressed her small back with her huge hands as he felt her choking on him. Thats what did it. He came with a flood, trying to cough to to cover the sound, but everyone heard him, he coughed growling, "ALEX!!!" Eames own coughing soon joined his as he flooded her mouth and throat, she felt like his fluid had gotten into her lungs, but his hands wouldn't release her, she felt like she was drowning, her body began to panic and she felt Bobby buck his hips into her face again, then he released her and she sucked in air, his semen spilling out her mouth and onto her shirt. He sat back in the now seemingly small movie theather chair, spent, she became aware again they were in public and it seemed like every pair of eyes in the theater was on them. And all twenty something pairs of ears heard Bobby Goren just moan her name. She looked down and bit her lip, hiding a smile. She felt Bobby push a hankerchief in her face and she wiped quickly, but the taste of him, remained in her mouth.


	10. Taking Turns

Goren opened the door to his apartment, allowing Eames to walk ahead of him, they never finished the movie, rushing home to be able to explore eachother privately. He called over her shoulder.

"Go put on _my_ shoes."

She obeyed silently, realizing today Bobby seemed on a mission, she knew what he wanted, she went into the bedroom put on the blood red pumps and nothing else. Walking back out into the living room naked. Feeling more confident and sexy now than at any point in her life. The room was empty, she glanced around for him briefly, and then out of nowhere felt him behind her. Goren began planting soft kisses on the back of her neck, his hands reaching down to caress her hips, then she felt it, he slipped it on her in the blink of an eye, his hands soft around her neck. At first it felt like a necklace, then she realized it was thicker. A thick silver collar with three hooks, was around her neck. She didn't know what to think, or how she should feel, she wanted to turn around to search Bobby's eyes, but he wouldn't let her, his grip on her hips, kept her firmly turned away. His hands felt slick and she couldn't tell who was sweating, him or her.

Her heart was pounding, Bobby's hands were running though her hair sending rushes of sensation across her scalp and he turned her around now to face him, he kissed her with more passion than he had ever before. He felt like he possessed her, even if for just this moment, his mouth claimed her hard, his tongue massaging deep into her mouth. He lifted her up and she instictively wrapped her legs around his waist. She felt excitement at herself being naked in pumps and collar, while he was still wearing the same clothes from work and the movie after, his suit still hung on him perfectly, even after all the activity. Goren carried Eames onto the desk and dropped her roughly on it, pulling her thighs apart. He breathed into her ear, his hand delicately touching the metal wrapped around her neck, fingering the hooks. "What do you think?" His eyes looking for hers now.

She thought for a moment, feeling him on top her, the desk underneath her, he made her feel so small. She bit her lip and then inhaled, "I like wearing _your _collar." Goren felt himself swamp with desire, and he clenched his jaws, fighting his arousal before it got out of control. His body froze over hers, Eames waited, holding her breath. He slowly backed off of her and Eames sat up now on top of the desk, she tried to get up with Bobby, but he shoved her back down, looking at her in a way she had never seen, she tried to close her legs but he yanked them apart, even wider than before, his eyes devouring the sight of her folds. He snapped his attention to her face, his eyes so intense, she felt like she was tumbling into him, he raised one finger and put it on her lips, then waved it back and forth, moitioning no-no like a school teacher. His voice sounded different.

"_Alex..." _that nasty way again, "the appropriate response is, "I like wearing your collar, Daddy." He looked at her with mock disappointment, "I hate to do this to you." He eased into the chair in front of the desk and grabbed her hand, then touching her waist and then easing his hand onto the small of her back. He took her by suprise pressing firmly, lowering her across his lap, her ass presented to him. His hand pulled at her cheeks, separating them and pushing them together, grabbing handfuls of her soft flesh. He began smacking her skin, harder than she had expected him to, she jumped in pain, but Bobby's free arm was pushing her down across him, he slapped her again and again, hitting her ass until it was burning and red, with each smack she surrendered to the pain, she felt Goren's member blazing underneath her. He felt his body quake, growing warm and feeling disconnected from anything other than this act, he smacked her as hard as he could, heat rushing through him whenever she whimpered in pain. _He knew he had to stop, _her skin was a deep shade of red. He pushed her off his lap and onto the floor. Eames skin was stinging. And Goren felt a way he had never before in his life..._the beast consumed him._

They had both decided to go see Dr. Huang because the night before had been something neither one of them was prepared for and they had finally reached a place that in the aftermath, they didn't even know where to begin to pick up the pieces. Dr. Huang entered, wearing a nice brown sweater and smiling warmly,

"Eames-I'm so glad you decided to come. So...whats the reason for this, joint session?" Dr. Huangs eyes looked back and forth between them, reading their body language he immediately knew he had to speak with them individually. It was Eames who decided to answer him,

"We just- I guess...I mean-not normal, but" Eames stopped herself she realized she was sounding like Bobby, she snapped out of it and took everyone in the room by surprise with her frankness "We're dating now...and we're having sex and I guess I just wanted to make sure everything was okay." a lot more could have been said, but Eames decided that was enough..for now anyway. Dr. Huang looked back and forth between them again and then went with his first thought.

"Okay so, how bout this, Detective Goren, I'm going to have you wait outside, my secretary can get you some coffee, " he paused, "but I think I would like to speak with each of you alone, first."

Goren sat stiff as a board in his waiting room chair, he always hated shrinks, he had seen more than one or two of them try to drive his mother over the deep end or even worse...medicate her into a stupor. He looked around the office, checking the clock what seemed like every fifteen seconds, his mind was turning to try to decide what Eames could be in there telling him, all their dirty little secrets, what a freak he was, how he scared her shitless and couldn't get off unless he was practically raping her, his stomach turned inside, he exposed other people's secrets everyday, the thought of his being torn open, made him want to vomit. Sweat formed on his brow.

Eames shifted in her seat uncomfortable, but Dr. Huang seemed nice enough and she heard around he was one of the best.

"So, Eames-"

"Oh, please call me Alex."

Dr. Huang smiled and continued, "My secretary said you called early this morning and fit in for this appointment, what brings you here?"

Eames took a deep breath and decided they weren't going to get the help they needed if they weren't honest.

"Last night, with Bobby..."

"You two were intimate?" Huang mused aloud.

Eames nodded her head and continued, "I mean...he's almost always rough with me, but last night, it just....I think I was scared. But, I mean, really scared, like he never made me feel like that before."

"He's rough with you, how?"

"Um..." Eames eyes scanned the floor, "he sometimes calls me names, he hits me, enters me without warning.." she felt her heart beginning to race and felt as if she was listing his sins out loud, _call him daddy_, but that one stayed locked inside.

After a pause, Huang made a suggestion, "Describe to me the sex between you and Bobby last nite, revealing as much detail as you feel comfortable with, but do try to include how you felt, and how you think he felt as well as your feeling afterwards."

The words came out, hesitant at first, "I was over his lap, and he was spanking me. I didn't think he would hit me that hard...or for that long, it felt like it lasted for ever...I felt my skin go numb and come back...and then he pushed me on the floor and his eyes, he looked like another person, my heart, it was so far in my throat I could taste it...and then he reached in his pocket...he had some black cord and he hooked it onto the collar and used the extra length to tie my hands....behind my back. Then he sat me on his lap...on his knee...he talked dirty to me, telling me why I was a good girl, why I belonged to him, why I was so beautiful and 'perfectly made' "

Eames paused on that, something about the way he said it the night before, struck her heart, he sounded so sincere, she cleared her throat "I felt like his voice was hypnotizing me, like he had this power over me, he said things so filthy I never imagined he would say, fondling my breasts the whole time, until my body was buckling with pleasure and I wet his leg, he was trying to bring me to orgasm with his words and he almost did.....but I think he couldn't take it, he untied me quickly and then something dark took over his face."

Eames paused again, her eyes filling with tears or shame or both, "he told me to bark like a dog and starting pulling on the rope like it was a leash....I guess, I guess, it made me mad..but..it made him madder. I wouldn't do it, I just froze, I didn't want to be humiliated...he got so angry, he started screaming I was liar and I said I loved him, but that I didn't trust him, and the next thing I know....he grabbed me by the collar and pushed me on the floor, and I felt like he was tearing me in half, " her eyes lowered matching the now almost whisper of her voice, "he said I was a stupid bitch for not trusting him, that he was stupid to ever love me in the first place....and he just kept pumping until I was bleeding, he's done that before as well, but....but this time was different, I felt like he _wanted_ it to hurt me, and then- I don't know- he started grunting and my whole body was thrashed by him and he was moaning in my ear the same thing over and over, 'can't you feel it, can't you feel it' and then he came....inside me...and went into the bathroom....he didn't come out for three hours, when he finally did, I told him we were coming to see you in the morning....I didn't know how to feel...I guess, I thought you could help."

Now it was Goren's turn and he felt more than uncomfortable. Huang to be fair, gave Goren the same explanation as Eames, stating, "Describe to me the sex between you and Alex last night, revealing as much detail as you feel comfortable with, but do try to include how you felt, and how you think she felt as well as your feeling afterwards"

Goren took a deep breath and huffed, he had no idea how much detail Eames had went into but he knew she was worried and was more expressive to professionals than he was, he knew for her, he had to be honest. Suddenly, he felt flooded with shame. He hoped saying the words fast and matter of fact would remove the sting of the confession.

"I gave her a collar, I spanked her..." his breath caught in his throat for a moment, "...probably longer than I should've...I tied her up and sat her on my lap, I talked to her, told her all the things I wanted to do to her, why she was perfect for me and for what we share...I kept going because...she was respsonding, she-she almost wet through my pants, right above the knee...here" Goren shifted his neck and rested his hand about 3 inches above his knee,

"she liked it...because it reminded her of her father..." Huang perked up at this, his eyes meeting Goren's, "I just kept talking....and by the time I ran out of things to say...I could smell her... in the air...I felt-powerful... and, and she liked it too, I could feel her shaking on the inside."

Goren took a deep breath and continued, "and then I told her to bark...like a dog...and she just....I lost her...I think she felt I was trying to degrade her, but I wasn't - I just, just was trying to get her to submit, to me...to this...to us, she still feels shame with me, she still can't let go, I'm not going to lie, it pissed me off..." Goren's face began to flush red with anger as he told the story and he turned his neck again, his voice low "..and I took it out on her....I was so angry, I was screaming, I was angry I still wanted her so bad, that she would deny me....that we didn't have what I thought we had, I threw her on the ground and fucked her.....harder than I've ever fucked any woman in my life, pushed myself deeper, I wanted her to scream, I wanted her to feel...all the shit, I feel on the inside all the time, the beasts I have to battle..." his eyes darkened, "...she was supposed to trust me, I just wanted her to feel how bad I want her, what she does to me, that I would never leave her...or cheat on her...or hurt her....I threw my whole body into her, she was crying...and I couldn't stop, I lost my mind, pulled at her hair, mumured in her ear, and then it was over....I haven't had an orgasm like that in years and she seemed hurt and numb and I just wanted to be by myself so I went in the bathroom."

Huang's voice was low, "How did you feel after?"

"Ashamed."

Huang called Eames back into the office and they sat on his couch, both their eyes darkened with worry, unsure how eachother were feeling how much the other had shared. The tension was palpable. Goren's heart was racing, Eames presence back in the room made him want to leave, Dr. Huang looked at both of them concerned.


	11. Journals

Huang's gaze passed between the both of them.

"I want each of you to keep a journal for seven days, " he passed each of them small black notebooks, filled with lined paper. "Then next week when you come back, give them to me, you _will not _read each others journals. I simply want you to keep track of whatever you feel is important throughout the week. The only condition is you must write something everyday."

He looked between them both, smiling, "Ok, guys?" Huangs voice tried to reassure them.

They nodded and took the notebooks.

"Okay," Huang added, "start Monday, and I'll see both of you _next_ Monday."

The ride back from Huang's office was quiet, they were headed into work, Fridays were hit or miss and could be incredibly busy, or light enough to leave a few moments early. They got to work and took their seats across from eachother. To Eames, Goren seemed in another world. She tried all day to catch his eye contact, with no results, he was definitely avoiding her, though he sat just a few feet away.

She found herself, several hours later, knocking on Bobby's door. He opened it, looking down at the ground, standing blocking her entry. She leaned in and kissed him, light enough to give him an opportunity to push her away, he didn't, he slowly backed up and allowed her into his apartment. She removed her coat and he looked down at her feet, seeing those pumps...._his_ red pumps. She wore a black pantsuit and he briefly wondered why she had changed clothes.

He felt like he could read her mind, he knew what she came here for, he tried to seize her, but she slipped from his grip and then ran her hands through his hair, messing it, tangling his lips in her kiss, she used her prescence to back him into his office and onto the chair in front of the desk. He sat down with a huff, his lips and hands still hungry to explore her. She walked around him, her stride slow and seductive, his eyes following her every movement. She stood behind him and ran her fingers through his hair again, this time with more force, he hung his head and allowed her nails to rake his scalp. She kissed gently on his neck, leaving a trail from in between his shoulders to right underneath his hairline, his body felt relaxed and he planned in moments to throw her on the floor and make her his completely. But then he heard a click and felt something heavy around his neck, his eyes glanced down, it was the collar. Eames curled around him, stradling his hips, she kissed his face and lightly traced her fingers over the collar. She cocked her head, "What do you think?"

Eames heart was racing, she knew she was pushing Bobby. She didn't know what his answer would be, he didn't have one, he met her with silence and then used his hands to run along her body, feeling her through her clothes, Eames had finally had enough. She wanted him to know how it felt to be powerless, shut out, afraid, in pain, helpless, and humiliated. What was good for the goose was good for the gander, she mustered up the nerve and then smirked, pulling her hand back,

"No!" she said the word with a sharp growl and then slapped Goren hard across the face, her adrenaline pumping, she reached into her own pocket and pulled out the same black cord he used as her leash. She was around him quickly, tying his arms and legs to the chair, he finally spoke.

"What is this?" his voice was even and cool. Eames knew she could match his facade. She leaned into his ear they way he had done to her so many times before.

"This...." she tightened the rope around his arms and then reached up, catching his earlobe with her teeth, breathing softly into his ear, "....is the rape chair." She swooped around and straddled Bobby again, but this time she was free from the assault of his hands, he couldn't move. She felt his body surging underneath her, but he kept cool on the outside, his eyes distant and almost glassed, she was going to keep him connected to her, even if it meant hurting him. She grabbed his face roughly, now controlling the direction in which his head turned. She smacked him hard across the face, again and again, each time tugging at his jaw to center his head again before she hit him with so much for his head turned to the side. He knew she would leave marks on his face. He didn't care. He gave her a half sneer half snarl, keeping his tounge behind his teeth.

She felt his hard-on pulsing through his pants and she tried to apply as much pressure to his groin with her hips as she could. She heard his breathing increase and launched at the opportunity, blood surged through her brain as she reached her two small hands up and wrapped them around Bobby's throat underneath the collar, she cut off his airflow instantly, her face mezmerized as she saw his eyes close and his face begin to redden from lack of oxygen, he was trembling now, unable to make any sound, she ground her hips into him again, feeling his hardness had doubled since her hands met his throat. Heat built in Goren, he began to panic, he didn't want to pass out, he felt like he was about to burst out of his skin, he hadn't expected her to choke him....nor so tightly. His mind and body set ablaze. She released him and he coughed, sucking in much needed air, he felt her hand swipe across his face again, this time scratching him, somehow her short nails felt like razor blades, he wasn't sure if she drew blood. He didn't care.

As he caught his breath, her felt her, pull his dick out of his pants, he momentarily struggled against the binds that held him to the chair, testing their tightness, Eames had him roped up, surprisingly snug. She lowered herself onto him, before he could fully catch his breath, and he heard himself groan. Then he heard her voice in his ears,

"Bobby....you wouldn't ask me to do anything you wouldn't do, right?"

All he could do was nod his head, the sensation of her around him, while he was unable to move or touch her, allowed him to focus completely on her warm tightness. She gripped his face roughly, distorting his features, she almost spit in his face when she spoke,

"Then bark like a dog..." Eames voice was callous.

She didn't know what reaction she was looking for, or if she had done this to express herself sexually, or make a point. But then she heard him, it started with a low growl and then increased until he was barking furiously, growling spit leaving his mouth, he woofed and barked so loud it forced her to kiss him, just to get him to stop. Heat rushed through her body, _that was what he wanted from her_, she suddenly felt bad, having him tied to the chair, she stopped and his breathing was out of control, he tried to thrust into her, but the _rape chair_, as she called it, limited his movement. He was throbbing and twitching inside of her, but she didn't move, he couldn't read her, so he just waited, desperately. She leaned her forhead against his, out of breath, softly looping one of her fingers through the hook in the collar, the words came out her mouth and she meant every single one.

"I'm sorry, Daddy" He knew she meant it, he breathed roughly, still trying to create some movement between them, buried into her, the warmth overtaking him. All he could manage, "Untie me now." Eames suddenly felt like she should have known better, Bobby was almost always right, about a case, about her, about everything. She no longer wanted to fight it, if he was playing mind games, emotional games, whatever, she would let him.

Once he was released, he took the collar off, put it back on Eames, grabbed her hair and pulled her mouth onto him. The moment his head made contact with the back of her throat, he released, with an intensity that surprised them both. Roaring and fluid pumped in streams from his body and into her mouth. His legs seemed weak for a moment and he looked as if he wanted to say something, but didn't. He pulled himself back in his pants and disappeared from the room, leaving Eames in her pumps and collar alone, and tasting him in the back of her throat.

JOURNALS

EAMES: MONDAY

I didn't see Bobby all weekend, after I tied him to the chair. I don't know how he's feeling. I feel locked out all over again. He lets me in, he pushes me away. He loves me, he loves me not.

I don't think he's all that crazy. I think he hides behind it..like one big distraction. Work was awkward to say the least, he didn't meet my eyes all day. Imagine that, questioning witnesses, and suspects, right next to someone who can't even and doesn't even look you in the eye. I don't even know when he left. I went to the ladies room, came back to my desk and he wasn't there and he never showed back up. I called him, he didn't answer. He drives me crazy with this shit.

P.S. I haven't kept a journal since I was a little girl, it feels so...weird, but familiar. Nothing too much to write and Huang said only write what is important, so let's see what tomorrow brings....

GOREN: MONDAY

I didn't want to look at her. I can't explain any of this. I feel like when she looks at me, she wants an answer. I don't have one.

She looked beautiful today. In a simple way. Her hair was freshly washed, I could still smell her shampoo.

Now, its nighttime and I am still awake. Thinking about her. It is 2:23 am.

EAMES: TUESDAY

I wasn't going to allow him to dodge me again and I think he knew it, first thing he did when I came into work was meet my eyes, he looked so tired. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but since he had been acting so distant, decided against it.

He handed me a coffee, first thing...he had been thinking about me. I smiled and took it.

Nothing else especially important, except I saw Bobby watching me out the corner of my eye and I felt like he was going to melt me, his eyes were so intense, communicating so much to me, that I wanted to turn around and look him right back, but I was afraid he would turn away. I secretly hoped he was about to ask me to do something for him, or kiss me, or take me, or push himself into his mind again. This makes me feel a little dirty to write. Sometimes I feel like he can read my mind and he knows all of this already, and he just contains himself until we are alone and then he just...I know what he meant when he kept asking could I _feel it? _

I can.

GOREN: TUESDAY

She was on my mind all night. All morning. Every second until she appeared before me and I handed her a coffee, just the way she likes it. Three sugars.

She tried to be professional. Us, trying to be professional is pretty ludacris, now that I am writing about it. I know she saw me looking at her, after lunch. My insides felt like they were pouring out in front of her, I wanted to fuck her on the desk, in front of everyone.

Sorry for my language, Dr. Huang, but that's how I felt.

I want to test the waters again. Is that wrong? Something seem different in her, after she released me from her "rape chair". My face is stil sore from that. Everytime the pain comes back, it reminds me of her riding me. Everything seems to associate back to sex with Eames now. I feel like I'm becoming obsessed.

She doesn't know me as well as she thinks, or she would see, how different she is from every other woman I've ever touched.


	12. Journals Pt 2

EAMES: WEDNESDAY

I'm still sore on the inside, but for some reason today. I _wanted_ it. It's so...intense. For a moment, those moments that we are together, I feel alive. I feel connected to Bobby in a way that I never have before. It's getting harder and harder to focus on work. I never wanted him-or-us or anything really, to affect our partnership and our ability to effectively investigate. Sometimes I think I must really be in love with him and sometimes I feel like we can just never be.

I was laughing the other day to myself about how when I first met him, how put off I was by his ability to be both arrogant and nerdy, but it was his warmth that pushed all of that away, and his intellect that began to draw me in deeper. What the phrase... a moth to a flame? That's me.

P.S. A really really small part of me wishes he were here in bed with me tonight.

GOREN: WEDNESDAY

Trying not to focus on it.

EAMES: THURSDAY

He looked a mess today. I feel like I saw him maybe twice. He is avoiding me. When are we going to move beyond all of these games?

GOREN: THURSDAY

I couldn't do it. I didn't want to see her, and sit there, and pretend. I never wanted to question it, but I'm not sure we can be lovers and partners and for the first time in my life, my desire to be her lover is outweighing my desire to be her partner.

On top of that, she has me almost completely obsessed with her.

And the sex.

I'm no more good.

EAMES: THURSDAY

Bobby didn't come to work at all, but he did show up at my door...very late at night. He looked like he hadn't been to sleep since the day before. I brought him inside. He was quiet, he seemed different. Before he even took of his coat, he pulled me to his body and kissed me...gently. His lips felt warm, his touch on my arm was light. He looked into my eyes. He looked sweet...and a little shy. I ran my fingers through his hair and I was surprised at his reaction, he clenched and unclenched his jaws, breathing heavily out through his nose. My eyes dropped and was met with the sight of a huge bulge in the front of his pants. He kissed me more, deeper, but still soft and wrapped his hands around my waist.

I began to tense, waiting for him to turn on me, grip me, hit me, or worse, but I just felt his body trembling. He looked into my eyes, something desperate simmering. His voice was soft. He said he was sorry, for the things he said, that he never meant to hurt me. His words came out jumbled and fast and he dragged his lips over my shirt, unbuttoning my pants. He had never gone down on me before. I started shaking. He was whispering into my thighs. I felt like I wanted to melt. He picked me up and carried me, gently placed me on the bed. Some of the thoughts are lost, I remember the sensation of his stubble against my inner thighs, his warm breath. His thick, solid, shoulders under my calves. My hips arching, his mouth never letting up, never lessening the pressure, he never stopped moving his tongue. I remember his fingers when they entered me. The first wave of pleasure when his long fingers found my g-spot. The hot growls from him as his face was buried between my legs.

I wanted to pass out. I couldn't feel anything but his breath on my lower stomach. He turned and looked up at me, his upper lip mosit with my juices. Are you okay?

I didn't even know what to say. He never ever asked me that. I nodded I think and then he was sliding up my body. I could feel how hard he was against my thigh. He even felt bigger than normal. His body was warm and heavy and firm. Everything seemed different. He seemed really tender. I thought for a moment could this be real? He asked if he could be inside me. The way he asked. I can't find the words to describe it. But it was like he was trying to make up for everything. He put it in slow, I felt myself stretch. He rocked gently, until I adjusted and began to moan. Then I was expecting it, a rush, the sensation of him slamming into me, but it never came. He pushed and pulled himself inside me, with even strokes. I heard it in his voice, he was shaking, he seemed vulnerable, he stopped moving. Looked in my eyes. Alex, I love you. He kept looking at me, pumping again, his body moving like a quick ocean wave over mine. I put my hand on his cheek, saw his eyelids flutter. I said I love you too. He started moving with so much passion. I felt like we were communicating on another level. Everytime he pushed into me I could almost hear him saying I love you. I looked at him and he seemed in another world. Then he came and made a sound I never even thought would come out of him.

He held me all night.

GOREN: THURSDAY

I couldn't get it together. I called in sick, but I wanted to see her. I went to her house. I don't know why. Well, I guess now I do know why. I was hard before I even knocked on the door. My thoughts in the car....nasty, wouldn't be the word. When I saw her. She looked so small. She looked like she was worried about me. I think I really believed then, that she loved me.

I kissed her soft. The way she wanted. Trying to finally give her, the intimacy she had been seeking. The same intimacy I didn't know if I was capable of experiencing. Her lips felt warm and soft. Her mouth so small. Her breath was quick against my face. I felt myself twitch in my pants, she ran her fingers through my hair and I was burning. I kept kissing her. She could see now how much I wanted her. I wanted to make up for everything....especially that night, when I intentionally tried to hurt her. She felt so perfect. I felt different. I wanted to please her. Show her I would do anything for her, if she didn't leave me. Everything came out of my mouth so fast. I tried to catch my breath. I felt her stomach under my lips. I drew kisses, until I reached her thigh. I felt paralyzed. She was fragrant. I think I was harder than I have even been in life. She tasted like the salted insides of a warm fruit. I found myself devouring her. Feeling her fingers pulling harder through my hair and her hips pressing into my mouth. I put two fingers inside her. I wanted her to come so bad. I worked until I found the soft spot and then I felt her, around my fingers, enough moisture to wet my entire palm. Her eyes closed, she went rigid, I never stopped massaging her with my tongue. She began to shake and I was so hard I thought I was going to burst out of my own skin. Her body was hit with waves that caused her to shudder, her entire body went slack. I could still taste her on my lips.

I asked her if she was okay, she looked at me like I was speaking a different language and then nodded. I couldn't wait another minute...second. I shed pre-cum at the feeling of being laid against her still moist thigh. I felt like I wasn't going to last another moment. I had to ask her permission. Show her this time was different. I don't know how I got the words out, but I heard myself say, something to the effect of 'please let me inside you'. She moaned and I took that as a yes. I tried to take my time. Focus on her pleasure...but I had already let myself get too worked up. I tried to remain steady, but I was too close, I had to stop or it would've ended right then.

I looked into her eyes. I told her I loved her, hoping she knew what a huge step I was taking with her right then. I think she did but she didn't say anything back. I started moving again, but I kept my eyes on her. I let her look into me and I wanted to look into her. She put her hand on my face and looked dead at me and told me she loved me too. It ended me. I could no longer think....or breathe. She suddenly felt tighter and warmer than ever before. Every stroke felt like it was going to be the last, but it just kept building. I knew my whole body was shaking over her, I heard myself cry louder than I ever have with any woman and then I think I blacked out.

I laid next to her, held her, and then before I knew it I fell asleep. I woke up later. Maybe around 4 am and she was still in my arms.


	13. Make or Break

JUST AS A NOTE THIS IS THE 13 AND FINAL CHAPTER. FINALLY DONE! THANKS EVERYONE!

FRIDAY: EAMES

Things are good, but for some reason, I'm not buying it. It seems almost artificial. He was almost too tender. He seemed disconnected in another way. I think it was just his way of submitting to me or to what he thinks I want. That's probably why he looked like he hadn't slept. He was up over-thinking this whole thing.

I just know that look in his eye.

FRIDAY: GOREN

I feel like a child around her now. I don't want to do anything to mess this up. I realized after writing it, my first thought was make her leave. I'll incldue it. I'm sure Dr. Huang will find it interesting.

She likes when I'm gentle. I can be that for her. It just doesn't....it's not the same. It's good in a different way. I think we may start to act like more a typical couple and less like...us. I don't really care as long as she is happy.

I never thought at my age I would be starting a new relationship...or still getting butterflies. But Eames...I wish I could find the words. I can just feel it on the inside.

It was Saturday night. They were both a little off balance by this new element in their relationship. Goren wasn't used to feeling so vulnerable....so open and Eames hadn't felt a connection this intense since...Joe. They were a bundle of nerves, buzzing and humming, nearer to eachother.

She looked beautiful this night. Wearing a black lace dress, with a sheerish-nude backing, that made her look as if the lace was wrapped around her skin, hugging her body. The effect was most pleasing on her toned arms, the pattern of the lace was elegant, not the least bit tacky.

She had selected the dress, thinking of him, running quickly to the mall after the phone call were they decided to go on this dinner date. For some reason, she felt Bobby would like it. When she tried it on, she knew for sure, something about it, the way the lace trailed her curves, the flesh backing matching her skin-tone perfectly, the illusion of nudity was....seductive...somehow she didn't look like she was trying too hard. The dress was short, the lace wrapped into a delicate design across her back, her cleavage hinting underneath the lacy neckline. Eames couldn't look away from the fitting room mirror, she bit her lip, hiding a smile.

When he saw her. He was stunned. He felt his face turn into a smile and grow warmer. Eames playfully raised her eyebrow. She knew he would like the dress. Before he arrived, she couldn't decided whether to put her hair up or leave it down. She eventually went with up, when she realized it showed the back of the dress better. She wore more eyeliner than usual, bringing out the hazel tones in her eyes and left her lips nearly bare.

Bobby leaned in to kiss her. And their lips met with sweet pressure. She smelled so good.

He was thankful to have gotten the reservations, at a fancy Italian restaurant in Manhattan. He was worried he was going to be overdressed, but when he saw Eames, he knew he would be just fine. They were usually in sync. He had never taken her out before, this way, so formally. He felt a ball of nervousness growing in his stomach. He turned to look at her, staring out the car window. He spoke,

"Thanks, for coming tonight."

Her eyes brightened and she smiled.

"No, thank you, Bobby." She reached over and squeezed his hand, reassuringly. This made him relax a bit.

And the wine at dinner, helped him relax even more. The two shots he took at the bar, when Eames excused herself to the ladies room, didn't hurt either. Eames was a bit tipsy herself, and their conversation, was full of giggling and reminiscing. Bobby felt warm in the inside, but he couldn't tell if it was the alcohol kicking in..or Eames. She broke into his thoughts,

"So..what have you been writing about in your journal?"

"Huang's journals?uh-you know-just stuff...I really haven't written that much. What about you?" He swayed in his seat, his balance off slightly, seeming a half-step slow. He had gotten more intoxicated than he planned. Eames face went hard. She couldn't believe he wasn't taking the journals seriously, didn't he know they were there for them, so they could make something of all this...finally. She tried to keep cool,

"Did you write about any of the important things..us..your mom..your dad?

He cut her off, he spat the words at her, "Did you write about _your_ dad?"

She wanted to slap him, one for bringing it up, and two for doing it in such a nasty tone. Eames didn't feel his attitude was warranted. She had had it with him. They were trying to force something that just wouldn't work. He was too damaged, too closed...she needed to get out of this before either one of them seriously got hurt. She tried to change her mind, maybe she was just angry, but her heart was hammering in her chest. She heard herself, say the words.

"Bobby, I want you to take me home." Her tone spoke volumes. She clenched her jaws, in anger, and got up.

He watched her rise, his eyes trailing the lace on her frame, and realized she was serious, she was putting on her coat. He knew this wasn't good. He knew this would happen. He put it all together, she didn't have to tell him. He got up as well anger burning within him. He couldn't believe she wanted to end this. After all this...why couldn't she just understand there were certain things, they each just didn't want to talk about. How could she expect him to be open about everything, when she tenses up just at the mention of her father?

He sped, driving her back home. She told him to slow down, watching him drift in his lanes, realizing he must have had more than just wine to drink.

"Bobby, were you drinking?"

"Yes. You saw me." He felt immature, for intentionally being short with her, but his pride wasn't going to let him give in to her anymore. He heard the emotion in her voice,

"Oh- don't bullshit me- you know what I mean? Clearly, this is more than just wine. Why do you have to get liquored up on our first real date?"

Normally, he wouldn't have answered her, but the alcohol was loosening his tongue. "What's wrong? What's wrong with a drink? You make me nervous. Wine makes me relax, so I had a drink. Why are you even questioning me about this?"

She wanted to addres the idea that she made him nervous but instead her voice was cold. "Let me drive."

He ignored her, "This is ridiculous. This all started, when I said that I hadn't wrote all that much in the journal. So what? It's a journal. You want to know whats going to happen. Dr. Huang is going to tell us to give the journals to each other, and then we are supposed to pretend we know each others deepest inner feelings, and we pay him a shitload of money, and he can act like he _helped_ us. The only reason I went, is because you wanted me to. That's not good enough. No, thats not good enough. I have to write down all the shit, you wish you knew about me, you really don't want to know Eames-oh! and the nerve- to demand secrets and honesty, this -this comes from the same woman, who can't admit her father molested her."

His words stung her heart. She looked at him, with her eyes cold as ice.

"Fuck you."

"Is that what you wish, you could've told him....but you were too weak....too submissive. So much so, that you promised yourself, you'd never submit to another man again, not even Joe, not even -"

She cut him off, "I think it's what you wish you could've told your father....or is it your mother?...Come on Bobby, give me one honest answer, which one of them did you end up hating more?"

He didn't say anything. He was caught off guard by her quick return. The alcohol was doing its job. Then,

"My mother."

Eames wasn't expecting him to answer her to plainly. She ventured another question, quickly, trying to catch the window of opportunity. But still not ready to release her anger,

"Why?"

"My dad...as long as you stayed out of his way, he stayed out of yours...unless he was drinking, or my mom had pissed him off...but he wasn't even home very much...I think I hated him for just disappearing, but now I realize....at least we didn't have to worry about him. My mom, I had to worry about her all the time....One time I went to school and when I got home, there was blood all over the floors, and I found my mom in the kitchen, cutting the skin off her legs...she thought a secret message was written underneath."

He stopped, becoming aware, he had just told her something no one else in the world knew. He felt like her anger had subsided, He asked,

"Do you hate your dad?"

"No, I love him. It's just...."

He didn't push her. She still wasn't ready.

He pulled up in front of her house. He grabbed her hand, as she opened the door to get out. His eyes pleading. This was it, either commit to it, or walk away, but no more back and forth. He made clear how he felt, his eyes nearly glassed over with tears, his hand gripping tightly on to hers, as she slid one leg out of the car.

"Eames-"

She slapped him, hard with her open hand. As he absorbed the impact, he felt another blow, and then another. She hit up around his head and face, punching him in the shoulder, the ear. He ducked his head and raised his arms to block the hits, he clenched his eyes shut, everything was happening so fast. He heard her sobbing, as she slapped him again, her nails raking across the back of his neck, she turned him towards her and crashed her lips into his. Her face was moist with tears and his was stinging from the assault, but her lips made it all better. He plunged his tongue into her mouth, both of them groaning lightly into the kiss. He pulled a fistful of her hair, as she clenched his short hair in her fingers. They kissed so hard, they knocked teeth, breathing heavily into each others lungs. Bobby moved his kisses onto her neck, alternating sucking and biting on the smooth skin there. He breathed into her ear,

"What did he call you?"

Eames took a moment in the haze to consider his question, she assumed he was referring to her father. He had shared with her, she decided to do the same.

"Lexi." Her voice was small. She felt Bobby groan, and his hardness jolt, under her thigh, she didn't even remember moving onto his lap. He kissed her on the lips again, letting his lips drag lazily across hers.

"We should go inside."

The stood in Eames bedroom, facing each other, completely naked. She suddenly remembered how tender he had been with her the last time they had sex. She looked into his eyes. He looked at her like there was no place else in the world he would rather be. He cracked a small smile and spoke,

"I did write about you in my journal."

She acted like she didn't hear him, and ran her hand slowly down his bare chest. Feeling his muscles moving with his breath underneath her. Her finger tips lavishing in his light dusting of chest hair. She let her eyes follow her hand and until she wrapped it firmly around his manhood, he was swollen and throbbing in her hand. She gripped even more tightly around the head, until she heard him whimper, then she said the words, low but commanding,

"Get on your knees."

His eyes met hers and for a moment he looked confused, but the look on her face let him know she wasn't joking. He felt his knees buckle and he was upon his knees before her. She looked down at him, desire in her eyes, she pulled her hand through his hair, roughly, pulling his neck and titling his head back so he was looking up towards her.

"Did your mother beat you too?"

She saw his eyes and face redden, she couldn't tell if it was anger or shame. She pulled his hair harder, and asked again, louder, "I said, did your mother beat you too?...or was she too busy falling over Frank?"

Eames snaked her hand across Bobby's face and dug her nails into his cheeks, gripping his face hard. He answered her, his voice low,

"She did."

Eames smothered his face in her inner thigh, throwing her thigh over his shoulder.

"I wonder why, you're such a good boy...right?" Her voice was husky and breathy.

He nodded yes against her thigh, as a response. She could feel his body slick with sweat, his muscles hardening under her touch.

"You're always a good boy..." she raked her nails along his back, intentionally trying to leave marks, or draw blood, his response doubled her arousal, she felt him beginning to pant against her thigh, she kept her tight grip on his hair, "..then be a good boy for me.... and kiss it." With that, she evened his mouth up with her vagina, and bucked her hips as hard as she could onto his face. She felt him immediately begin lapping at her, even more feverently than he had the night he made love to her. His tongue applying perfect pressure to her clit. Eames pushed him harder and harder between her legs, cutting off his air supply, grinding in hard circles over his nose and lips. She heard him grunting, her inner thighs now soaked with his saliva and her juices. She yanked his head, and snatched him from her, she planted her palm on his forehead and pushed him back.

"Lay down."

He obeyed, laying on the bed on his back. She was upon him in seconds, straddling his face, keeping his head still by squeezing her thighs. His hands came up to roughly caress her butt cheeks. He pulled them apart slightly, as be began is oral pleasure of her again. Eames grabbed onto his hair, right around his forehead, and raised herself up a few inches, from his face, holding her body weight with her thighs.

"Why did she do it, Bobby?"

She looked down at him, his face was red and covered in moisture. His voice cracked,

"She didn't mean it."

Eames slammed herself back down over his lips, again sitting on his face. She ground herself in a hard rhythm over him, feeling his tongue pressing hard into her clit, his fingernails digging into the soft flesh on her backside. She raised himself over him again, provided him with a much needed breath.

"Why?"

She sunk back down onto his face, before he could answer, burying him in her folds, her thighs taut over his shoulders and the sides of his face. She leaned now, grinding and bucking her clit against what felt like his nose, pulling harder on his hair, she heard him beginning to moan. She raised and lowered herself on him again, trying to create as much contact, when she thrust back down onto his face as possible. She rode his face, until she was moments from orgasm, her body twitching and breathless over him, pressing hard into his lips. He continued his oral massage of her genitals, feeling her pubic bone grinding into his teeth. He felt his member roaring, untouched, and exposed to the cold room air, despite the fact his body felt like it was in flames. She was pushing him. Every time she slammed her body weight onto his face, he felt like he was going to suffocate. She was practically dry humping his mouth. She raised up again, he was expecting her to come down on him again, but instead he heard her breath,

"Why?"

And from somewhere within, his truest feeling emerged. He nearly shouted it, something he never wanted to say about his mother, but always felt,

"She's a crazy bitch!"

Eames ground herself into him now with enough force to hurt them both. Moments later she felt her muscles rapidly contracting, and her body spasming, thighs gripping tighter around Bobby's head. She was unable to ride out her orgasm, he was entering her, sending a cramping pressure deep into her spine. He was growling, sweaty, his massive body hot, his muscles flexed. He thrust into her with a power, that she knew only came from him, when she had him like this. She felt him hit her on the back of the head and then mush her face into the mattress, pinning her to allow himself to stroke with more force. He was moaning and speaking at the same time, she could only make out parts of what he said, "....crazy bitch....sick...I never wanted....why....so stupid." It was too much to put together all in that moment, but his voice cracked and he collapsed on top of her, his body moving now, with deep powerful thrusts. He whispered in her ear.

"Lexi, how old were you the first time?"

She could tell now by his voice, he was crying. His voice was almost pleading with her for the truth and Eames also felt an unexpected feeling at his use of the name Lexi. She immediately felt herself cling to him, her fingertips pressing harder into his back. He was pumping into her so hard now, her voice came out in bursts.

"I...was...six."

She wrapped herself more tightly around him, as if he were the only stable thing in this storm. Her legs squeezed him, with a bruising pressure, she felt the sweat drip from his body and land on her chest. He pulled her hand and brought it to his chest, he put his hand over hers and looked into her eyes.

"It's okay."

Something about the way he said it was reassuring. She didn't know if he was saying it's okay to love him, to have sex with him this way, to talk about her father, to dominate him sometimes, to be afraid, to let it out....to let it out.

Eames threw her head back and let out a cry, from within, from years ago, from that little girl, from the widowed lover, from places she didn't even know she had in her. She broke under him, into a million pieces, holding onto him even tighter still, like he was offering her salvation. He thrust into her, burying himself until he felt his balls press into her, she felt like tight, wet, heaven. He heard her cry, it shook him to his soul, he felt her clinging to him and he clung to her as well. Wrapping his arms completely around her, moving her entire body to the beat of his stroke. They moaned into each other's mouths, bit each other's lips. The orgasm was building deep within, not just her and not only him, but 's mind clicked off, when he felt her nails raking across his back, deep enough now he was sure there would be scars. She balled her hand into a fist, and pummeled his back, beating on his solid flesh, she bit his ear, pulled her hands through his hair and beat on his back some more. The whole time he kept her pinned to the bed with his body weight and now rapid stroke. She knew he was close, when his large hand covered her mouth, trying to drown out the sound of her moans before she pushed him over the edge before he wanted. He stroked her now, so deep, and hard, and with so much force, his body could barely move, as he took in the sensation of the moment, being fully sheathed in her, both of them seconds from the brink. He pulled himself back tortuously slow, memorizing every inch of her insides against him, before pushing back in lightning speed. He looked into her eyes, she looked into his, both of their eyes were red with tears, but somehow they both seemed wondrously new. He brought his lips to hers in the deepest kiss of their lives and they came just like that, breathing each others breath, roaring into each other's mouths, spasming and twitching into each other. Bobby released so much fluid, he soaked through to the mattress.

She rolled over exhausted and looked at him.

"So can I read your journal?"

He gave a small smile to himself, "I think Dr. Huang wouldn't like that....it might affect our treatment."

Eames was very serious now, "We don't need Dr. Huang."

Bobby rolled over and brushed some of her wet hair from sticking to her cheek and brought his lips to hers, leaving her with an intimate kiss. He spoke, breathless, "You own me."

They had discovered their own way of letting it out. Of dealing with the past, while still experiencing eachother. Neither one of them cared if it was healthy....or normal....or even right. They needed eachother, there was no more hiding that. She laughed lightly and brought her lips to his again, she repeated the words against his mouth, "You own me."


End file.
